Darling, you are quite right, people were mocking him last summer when he basted himself like a turkey and turned all shades of wrong. And quite within reason. For God's sake, woman, the man looked like a pigskin travelling case by the end of the summer. Surely you don't want that for yourself. You are naturally such a delightful shade. And while I appreciate that those of us sporting the milkiest complexions might need a bit of a boost at times the mahogany tan is almost certainly going a step too far.
Please take note. I will be bringing a colour chart everytime we meet this summer and if you go too far I might not be held accountable for my actions.
17 hours ago