God, you know what I was thinking? Handbags with short straps? Like so totally passé, right? So five minutes ago...
But what would be cooler, more of the moment? Hey! I've got it! What about long straps? Radical!
I'm kinda in to it. My namesake Miss Miranda Kerr looks delightful with hers perched on her shoulder.
I'm almost convinced. But there is something about it that just screams 80s to me. And not good, fun, tasteless, bright 80s, but the 80s that you see on documentaries about Thatcherite Britain with women going to work in the city in long double breasted jackets that make them look about a foot tall and mid calf length skirts and pussy bow blouses and sensible court shoes. Ack! It's enough to make me gag.
Can I get over this? Or should I just stick to a short handle and have done with it?
Do you have a magazine obsession? Or is that just me? I love them. I can't help myself. But I end up buying so many of them I never have the chance to read them properly. I am trying to ween myself off at the moment.
So I was flicking through an issue of Elle from a few months ago and saw this picture. And realised that what I absolutely, categorically, without exception, must own is a pair of black sandals with ankle ties.
Look how down right delicious they are.
Of course this pair probably cost more than has ever been extricated from my sticky little hand for one item, so probably not. I mean, really, for sandals? No, me neither.
So hmm, alternatives?
This pair are from River Island (my spiritual home as I'm sure you are aware). They have these weird gold dangly bits, but I had a look see and I could easily have them away with a pair of scissors and a good eye in a well lit room.
But will they then be elegant? Coz they really need to be elegant I feel. Having scoured most of the shops I didn't find any suitable alternative, but is that a good enough reason to purchase?
When I was at secondary school I loathed my PE teachers with a passion. They were petty individuals with inferiority complexes who had their favourites and their favourites to persecute. I returned the favour and we spent a large amount of time trying to make each others' lives hell.
Ah, good times...!
Well, one of them had particularly heinous taste in trousers.
I thought of her when I bought these today. But they are cute, right? For pottering around when the temperatures are soaring? And for my travels?
I keep being drawn to what Vogue seems to have named "backpacker/gap year chic", you know, global prints and easy to wear styles that are still chic. But most things under this bracket are pretty hid and would have to be worn with tongue firmly embedded in cheek, but I think these flirt with the trend while still being very pretty. At least I hope so.
Aaarrggghhh! Why does this have to happen? That you get something in your head and then find that you can't get it out and won't be able to get a thing done until you own it. And then find the item you want and your body type are singularly out of sync. Which is the case with my bottom and hips and more or less any pair of shorts in the whole entire world.
Is it too much to ask for to look chic like Miss Lazereanu?
(Image via Handbag)
I fear so.
I do like both these pairs and another pair from Gap that are emerald green silk. But they are quite short and I'm not sure I am quite up to it.
Poor Mariacarla Boscono. What explanation can there be for this? Getting chased by a knife-wielding maniac while partly dressed and seeking solace at a celeb event where lots of paps are hanging out? Yes, that seems to make the most sense. There surely couldn't be any other reason, could there?
I have to confess that I am a bit confused about how I feel about Xtina's return. Well, not really her return as such, more the incarnation that she has taken for this return.
I think she looks incredible. Like a beautiful, perfect replicant.
And I have never enjoyed her imagery more.
But is it a bit too Gaga? Except, you know, not carried out quite as imaginatively or as well?
And I just feel that she is aware of that and is trying to up her game. But instead of more being more creative she has just gone more slutty.
And S&M-y. At what stage does it stop being provocative and start being a bit creepy and demeaning? When you have a gag in your mouth in order to sell pop songs...? Just a thought.
But I guess when she did Dirrrrrrrrty (too many rs?) I lost my heart to her first time round, so she has previous and I didn't hate it then. In fact I liked her purely because she was doing something with her image that no one else was doing.
Maybe my major concern is that now everyone has seen the impact of Gaga on music imagery that we will just have to suffer various watered-down versions of her style to sell their watered-down pop.
No more work for... well, a few months, probably...
But anyway, I am off to Norfolk. And even though it doesn't seem as though there is going to be particularly good weather I am currently trying optimism on for size. So I thought that I might try and find a nice pair of knee length shorts to schlep around in.
So I started a little search. And my eyes were assaulted by these monstrosities:
Honestly, aren't shops meant to, you know, make nice clothes that people want to actually, erm, wear?
I like these in theory, they are pretty and vintage-y. But dear lord, is anyone other than Pixie Lott actually going to walk around in something so short?
You know what? When Diana Vickers was on The X Factor wielding around that sodding claw hand I wanted to rip the damn thing off and beat her with it. And yes, thanks, the anger management classes are coming along well...
(Image via Look)
Well, I think she might finally be safe from me. Partly because whoever is managing her has clearly been inflicting some cruel techniques to counter the claw instinct. Nicely done.
And partly because they have given her some really good styling. How adorable is she in this outfit?
I am really loving the combination of the high waist and the crop top. I have seen it a few times and I think it works really nicely. Definitely the only way to work the crop.
Unless you are La Kruger, of course.
Because she laughs in the face of rules and indeed common sense.