Friday, 31 July 2009
1. Having a short, turned-up nose.
Our opinion has actually been ASKED for darling, rather than us just giving it. This is a day to celebrate!
I like that shoe. I have tried it on myself a couple of times. For me the issue is the snubby nosed-ness of it all. I just can't make up my mind if it's TOO snubby. But this is only an issue of the wearer is snubby nosed themselves, whilch happily I don't remember Kate being. I'm sure she had a normal and very nice nose so she's clear on that potential hazard. In fact I think it's only me in the entire world who worries about the toe of a shoe making their nose look snubbier. Maybe I should stop going on and drawing attaention to it. Let's speak no more of it.
So to the height. Yeah man, they're high. But to me it's not the HEIGHT that's the issue, but the flexibility of the SOLE. Now this is important. If the sole is nice and bendy I think that even a dyed in the wool flat pump wearer can get to grips and get on with it. A hard sole though, no. You're done for and even though the wearer can take cabs everywhere and sit down at every available juncture they will have to get TO the cab, or TO the bar stool and shuffling about and trying to keep a heel on in those moments is so unglamorous the wearer might as well be in a flipper as far as I'm concerned.
I can't recall if the sole is nice and bendy or not. I think I was so mesmerised by the noseyness that I'm not going to say any more about, that I didn't have time to move in them and see how they worked but I say: try them on Kate and if there's bend, do it and if not, keep looking. Or employ young men to hoist you aloft on their manly shoulders and carry you TO the cab and TO the bar stool. That would work equally well.
We have been requested, as noble CONC-erors, to offer pre-purchase advice on an item. Miss Williamson, who you sat next to at my birthday dinner, is thinking of buying these:
They are from Aldo who, as we well know, are loathe to relinquish a reasonable size picture. So please follow this link to see them in more detail.
Now, knowing Kate as I do I have to say that I am not sure I have ever seen her in a high heel in all the delightful days that I have known her. If ever there was a girl that favours a flat then it is Kate. So even though her enquiry was worded as follows: “Do I buy? I will be unable to walk in them and will have to get cabs.” I was certainly not prepared for these.
Those are not a heel for the faint of heart. Yes, there is a lot to say for them, the colour is delightful. It reminds me somewhat of Angel Delight and I find that strangely comforting. I love the metal studs. The shape is all rounded and sensuous so thumbs up there. But all I can imagine when I look at them is myself toppling out if I were to wear them.
Am I being overly cautious? It might just be because I feel suitably chastised as I went to a wedding recently in my perilously high Miu Mius even though I had been warned that the terrain was not suitable. I spent more time out of them than in. After sinking resolutely into the churchyard’s grass I couldn’t risk the suede further. I was also berated by a friend’s boyfriend that it was completely ridiculous to wear heels I couldn’t walk in (over steep, uneven and wet leaf strewn pathways I would just like to point out). I beat him down later though when he dared to suggest that his ugly shoes were decent, to which I replied that that depended entirely on one’s definition of decent.
Anyway, I digress. I think they seem quite high. Maybe they aren’t too bad and I am just being a scaredy cat. And if we are already resigned to the non-walking/cab necessitating limits of the shoes then maybe we should just go with appearances (which obviously is what shoes are all about) and say, oh yes, they sure are pretty!
Do you concur?
Thursday, 30 July 2009
I need your advice. I want to go and snag the adventure boy next week. What can I wear that will make me irresistible to him? But also make him think that I am a nice girl (tough call, I know).
Miss. Keddie has suggested the green and purple floral mini dress. You know the one? What do you think? What outfit that I own would make you want to hand your heart to me in a box tied up with a bow (or at least say yes to a drink) if, you know, you peed standing up?
I could never get away with having this slung nonchalantly over my shoulder. (Although it would give me a kick to be l'il miss coporate with a boom box bag.) But honestly, its like denim, and sportwear. JUST NOT ME. It doesn't stop me from loving it, though. I reckon you could rock it. You know, accessorise it with big hair and a sneer. Oh yeah! How about it? Just for me?
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
I don't quite know where this has come from. I need some new black flats. And somewhere along the line the penny loafer has popped into my head as a viable option. Particuarly with a sharp 7/8ths length trouser (more of this to come).
Am I quite mad?
Up until very recently I loathed lace, particularly white lace. It just smacks too much of a certain Madge moment. Which, in its time and place, was all very well. Actually thinking about the pics of her Madgeness that have been doing the rounds with the scary arms, maybe the slightly more rounded be-laceified days have something to say for them. But anyhoo, I was not 100% convinced that this fashion tip was one that should be revisted anytime soon.
I might also be sore because some years back, I would make a stab at, ooh, five years ago, I went to a concert wearing a pair of white lace leggings. I fear I looked even worse than this.
I was exceedingly drunk for the whole venture, but even so I was soon aware it was a big mistake. Mostly because it seemed to go down really well with the boys. And we all know that if something induces strange men to yell across the street at one it is probably not because one is looking particularly classy and demure. Unless they’re, like, rilly mean.
But I have been slowly coming round to the lace issue despite these scaring memories. In part thanks to Miuccia’s Prada collection of recent days with the black lace. And in part because I am a sucker for fashion and a trend and am wilfully lead into wanting to buy things that I don’t yet own/need. Waddayaknow!
So I really like this. I think you will look like Brooke Shields in Pretty Baby. Except less paedo-chic. Obviously.
As to the hoofs... I think I will have to take your word for it. I still have an image of you in those Aldo ones that made you look like Mrs. Tumnus. I am sure they are lovely, but I might need proof. Please trot out in them the next time we meet! (Tee, hee!)
But for the love of God, DO NOT, under any circumstances, wear the two items together. Everyone has a breaking point and that might well be mine. 'Kay?
I'm not entirely convinced that owning the lacey dress is a good thing because it reminds me a bit of my Grandma Clara's net curtains (the best ones in the front room though, which isn't necessarily too bad). There is a sheen to the fabric which I worry might translate as 'cheap'. The shoe however is phenomenal. It's a bit hoofy. But in a good way.
There's nothing wrong with a hoof as MK Olsen has proven time and time again. Neigh!
I can see where you are coming from, however, when I think of Burberry Prorsum I think of the delightful Mr. Christopher Bailey. Isn’t he the most? I think he is adorable.
And very talented. As he has distracted me from thinking about the broad from Eastenders with no septum. You know who I mean. I won’t be posting a picture of her.
The other thing...? With the perfume...? You’ve just got too much time on your hands, je pense...
Friday, 24 July 2009
when I see the name BURBERRY PRORSUM?
They are majorly over subscribed. But they're also great! And glasses being cool makes me feel really happy. So embrace it, I say. This lady has. Her zippy swimsuit isn't embracing very much of her, but hell! Seckshual spectacles on a Friday morning, what's not to love?
Thursday, 23 July 2009
I am so happy that I finally have an excuse to post this picture, because I really love it. I mean for one thing Jason Schwartzman is quite delightfully beautiful.
Still not convinced?
Well, I like him anyway.
The other is that they are both wearing the most wonderfully geeky glasses. I own a pair like them, as you know.
Here is me in them.
I have had them for a couple of years, and I have been thinking vaguely about getting another pair, but I am now becoming slightly concerned. Do geeky glasses look really contrived now? You know when something becomes a trend and then even if you were rocking it before it was a trend you end up looking a bit tragic? Is that where we are now with these glasses?
Should I even care? Am I terribly shallow if I do?
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
I badly want these things. I really feel that I need a 3/4 length harem jogger. And a super trashy hoody. And The Head sports bag is just a given isn't it? Too perfect!
But admittedly probably not for us mere mortals... Do not fret, I won't be trying it myself.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
If it looks like that on this lot, imagine what it might look like on a muggle.
Doesn't bear thinking about does it?
Friday, 17 July 2009
I feel the need to confess something to you. And a something that has induced either shocked surprise or barely supressed mirth in those I have told thus far.
I went and got a spray tan yesterday. (Pause for intake of breath...) After Peru I was decidedly mismatched with the top half being slightly more ruddy, you know, like a farmer, and the bottom half my usual milky white. I am going to the wedding of the delightful Miss Kirsty Buckler and her beau Mr Ben Cregan tomorrow and I just couldn't face gracing their wedding pictures with more than one different shade.
And you know what? I love it. It looks really natural and I am getting a big old kick out of being brown. And I am even thinking of topping it up myself tonight with a bit of the old Holiday Skin for a more dramatic look.
So I obviously can never judge you and your slightly citrus based skin tone ever again. And I'm ok with that.
I wondered whether it was an unfortunate representation and it might be better in the real.