Wednesday 30 September 2009

Pretty Vitti

(Image via Garance Dore)

I love Garance Dore's blog. It's the first of many that I read every morning whilst I drink my coffee and hope that my synapses start communicating with one another.

She has posted about being asked to sit front row at D&G along with The Sartorialist and a couple of other major bloggers. I love her humbleness about the whole experience. She decided to shoot gorgeous backstage photos rather than pics of the show itself and they are lovely. I am a bit taken with her and I won't blather on because I might sound like a bit of a stalker and that's Not Cool. BUT. Whilst there she took a photo of a photo. A photo squared, if you will. It is of someone called Monica Vitti. I have NO idea who she is so I presume she is an actress. You know what I'm thinking? FRINGE CRUSH!

Damn it! All my posts have come up in a weird order. As in out of the order they should be. Don't tell me that just when we've got the picture editing thing sorted now the posts are going to go haywire? And where's the spell checker gone? I kant spell 4 toffi, we all no that. 

Chripy Cheap Cheap

I have seen that very clutch.  Yes it does look cheap in the real.  But not in a bad way.  Buy it so that I can borrow will you?  Thank you, please!

Walk This Way

Hiiiiiiiii! I'm BACCCK from the wildes of the Lake District. The Head and I struggled to light log fires*, got chased by bulls** and got drunk on Guinness*** during the most calorific evening I have had since my 5th birthday party when I ate all the sweet treats myself after refusing to share with my buddies. (I'm an only child. You expect more from me?)

Whilst we were away we did a LOT of walking. I carried the rucksack everyday. And every time I shrugged it on I put on a sad face and said 'I bet all of these people around us think, "what a horrid man, making his spindly little wife carry this heavy bag whilst he just walks along, swinging his arms freely in the wind"' which would make him say 'GIVE THE BAG TO ME THEN HAYLEY' and I would say 'NO it's my punishment, you SAID SO!' which would make him walk away rolling his eyes. HHAHAAHA. Anyway. He got so bored by this that he bought me my own rucksack so we could have one each and I would have to stop. I LOVE IT. It has a clip for your keys! And a netted bit for your water bottle. As well as wearing my walking boots around town I want to use it as my new handbag (so much better for the posture). I mean I won't of course, but I am still terribly enthused about it. And for that reason I can share your joy at an AA £15 gym bag. God. We are like, so totally cool Luce.

* In our luxury refurbished cottage. With central heating.

** I knew they were bulls but The Head insisted they were just friendly cows. Cows don't have bull willies. Or the killer instinct that bulls seem to. We had to leap up on a stone wall and then actually RUN through a field after The Head suggested we should 'jog a bit to get out of their line of view'. AGHHHH!! FEAR ALERT!!

*** I was drunk. The Head was not. He is made or sterner stuff. Swoon!


(Image via Fashion Wear Daily)

Has the world gone quite, quite mad? Yeah, sure, I'm a devoted fan of utterly impractical footwear (aren't we all?), but this is surely a mammoth leap too far, n'est-ce pas? As opposed to the teeniest tiniest little steps you would have to take in those shoes. Or maybe they are just for drinking champagne out of. In which case that is obviously absolutely fine/utterly reasonable...

Cottoning On

No darling, you are not.  Mother always tells me if I have nothing nice to say, then I mustn't say anything at all.  So.....that's all from me!

Snake Eyes

(Image via Topshop)

A girl can never have too many faux snakeskin clutches, can she? Coz this one is awfully cute, wouldn't you agree? Although it might look really cheap in real life.

Tuesday 29 September 2009

Fearne Baby Fearne

(Image via Glamour)
Am I alone in being totally nonplussed by Fearne Cotton's supposed status as a stylista?

In the Bag

(Image via American Apparel)

Is it a sign of the utter degradation of my character that I am really excited about buying myself a £15 nylon gym bag?

Monday 28 September 2009

Seville Unrest

(Images via Nothing Elegant)
Kitty and I went to London Fashion Weekend yesterday. It was something of a bun fight, and in Kitty's own inimitable words, there was a lot of s**t. However, we did come across the stall of Paul Seville, creator of some utterly delightful, and not a little naughty, leather pieces.
His corset belts were really the star attraction. Kitty bought one, it is like the brown at the top of the second picture, but in black. It looks insane on her. Serious handspan waist and everything. I am quite jealous, but I seem to be saving my pennies for season 4 sleeping bags and other such practical items at the moment. Sadly.
But put that baby with a simple black dress, and YOWZA! You are going to have one hell of an outfit on your hands.

Friday 25 September 2009

I'll Tip My Hat

(Image via Asos)

I saw a fabulously glamourous lady yesterday. She was wearing a hat of this description, you know, a molded sort of beret. But it was leopard print. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen. She was wearing it with a cocoon camel coat. Honestly, I nearly fell into a swoon.

I wanted to ask her where she got it. But I chickened out. Now I wish I had because I fear I might never find true and lasting happiness until that hat is mine.

I don't suppose you have seen any lying about, have you?

Wright as Rain

(Image via Fenn Wright Manson)
I've always thought that Fenn Wright Manson were rather fusty and old fashioned. Or, if I were less mean, British classic.
Lot's of floral prints and sensible knitwear.
Is it a sign of my burgeoning decreptitude that I quite like this coat? I personally am quite apalled with myself.

Keeping up with the Joneses

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)

I have mostly been indifferent or vaguely horrified by most of the dresses worn at the Emmy's. If I find myself with the time and the inclination I might post the worst offenders.

The delightful Miss January Jones will not be one of them. I can't express how much I adore this dress. I think it is mostly due to the jutting hips. Aren't they divine?

Wednesday 23 September 2009

Life's Too Short

(Image via

Holy Toledo! How cool does this girl look. Those leather shorts almost look like polished wood, don't you think?

While the Cat's Away...

I think I might be missing a trick.

While you are away galivanting in the Lake District and you have left me and our adorable offspring, CONC, in my incapable hands, I should have taken in upon myself to post lots of things that would really put your back up.

You know, like...


And of course, not forgetting...

(Images via Go Fug Yourself)

But it seems as if all of them are behaving themselves this week. Gah!

Tuesday 22 September 2009

Snood for Thought

(Image via Times Online)

I know how you feel about a snood. But I have to say that I am becoming more and more inclined. And flicking through the Times Style magazine this weekend I found this and it sealed the deal. Look how awesome that girl in the middle looks. OK, so it is warn more like a scarf than a snood per se, but there is no denying that it rocks.

Unless you want to deny it, of course. But wouldn't that just be churlish of you?

All Fur Coat and No Knickers

(Image via Times Online)
I had always rather hoped that that might be the kind of woman I would turn out to be. You know a bit lawless and unpredictable. I rather suspect I am too uptight for the required shenanigans though. Although some would probably disagree.
Now that the Martin Grant has been returned to a terribly snooty salesmistress at Liberty (You want to return it???!) my eternal quest for the perfect winter coat lurches into action once more. It really is such a trial.
A fake fur jacket is probably incredibly impractical, isn't it? But there is something quite saucy and sexy, yet cosy and comforting about it. I am really in two minds...

Lady Looks Like a Dude

(Image via Asos)

So, we have established that Amelle is an awfully pretty girl with a bitchin' haircut. Quite why, then, she feels the need to swathe herself in the most unflattering denim boiler suit is something of a mystery. Particularly when, ahem, it makes her look less than lady-like, if you know what I mean...

But while we are on the subject, what impeccable taste in shoes she has... tee, hee!

Monday 21 September 2009

One Trick Pony

You know what? My name isn't Dolly. I don't have a wooly coat. I don't live on a farm. I don't go baaaa. In other words I don't consider myself to be a sheep.

I think of myself as someone who understands style. Someone who understands their shape and how to dress it. Someone who knows what she likes and what she doesn't. Someone not overly influenced by trends.
Someone who has an undue amount of contempt for an ankle boot and its ability to canklify. Particularly with a skirt.
And yet! What is this? The girl who thought she was going to be rocking the thigh high boot (which just made me look as though I had excessively fat knees, great another complex to have about my body...!) is succumbing to the demon bootie?
And considering wearing it with dresses?

(Image via Kurt Geiger)
Yes. That would be me. Because I just bought these boots. The are pony. With a faux lizard heel. And a big f-off gold tassle at the back. And I love them. And I won't hear a word said against them. And I'm not sure how this has happened... But I'm glad it has...!

Friday 18 September 2009

Fill Your Boots

(Image via Topshop)
Man alive! Would you look at this monstrosity! Have you ever seen anything more hideous in your life?? They have taken an ugly white boot and sewn odds and sods from someone's scrap seventies fabric cupboard onto it. Why exactly? Ick!
Even Agnetha and Frida couldn't carry them off. Seriously, To' Sho', watcha thinkin'?

Fight For Your Right To Party

Is it too soon to be thinking about what to wear for the Christmas party?

Thursday 17 September 2009

Show Time!

A certain someone is going to some London Fashion Week shows. Squeal! Thanks, Mr. Boyce!

I will report back on what goes on...

S'il Vous Plait

Alexander Wang sent his models down the runway with great thick rope-like plaits.

It makes me jealous. I wish my hair was long enough and thick enough to do that.

(Images via Fashion Copious)
Mostly because I want to look like Lucy Honeychurch. Obviously.

Rubber Soul

(Image via Daily Mail)

Quite how Kelly Brook manages to wear skin tight rubber and still look reasonably demure and retrolicious is beyond me. Would you look at that waist?!? Teeny, teeny, tiny!

Wednesday 16 September 2009

Keep it in Check

(Image via Warehouse)

Is this adorable and English Heritage-y or is it too The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie?

Tuesday 15 September 2009

It's Just (ah) A Little Cush (crush)


(Images via Garance Dore & The Sartorialist)

It's not like I feint everytime we touch or anything.

Snake Eyes

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)
Pretty much.  And choosing an outfit (or should that be body sleeve?) that looks like what happens to snakes when they dislocate their jaws and eat something up that is lumpen and larger than themselves isn't such a great idea either.

The Thighs Have It

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)

When you can see where the thighs join that's too short, right?

Talk the Hind Legs Off a Donkey

That Zara jacket is awfully boxy, isn't it? It reminds me of a donkey jacket's proportions. Which do absolutely nothing for me. And the colour seems a little bleurgh. But for holing up in a remote cottage and going for winter walks it looks super toasty. So not for me but I wouldn't hate you if you bought it.

The skirt, however, I love. I saw an Oasis dress with feathers at the bottom in Vogue which I might have fallen for. It isn't on the website yet, so no pic. But I am all for a bit of flightiness.

(Image via Sweaty Betty)

And I don't know where the 80s sportswear thing has come from, and what has changed about it, but my previous hate has developed into a love thing. I am desperately trying to find an excuse to buy this little treat from Sweaty Betty. It has a hood and a really slouchy neckline so you can wear it off one shoulder. Swoon! It's probably not terribly practical but what the hey!

As to SJP and SITC I am soooo over it already. Bo-ored.

Monday 14 September 2009

Taking Liberty's

Ooh nice! It has it's own little hip shelves that you can balance things on. I have never seen a coat with hip shelves. Aren't things getting architectural all of a sudden? Kevin McCloud will be reporting live from Fashion Week soon, you mark my words!

I like this coat from Zara. I don't know what has happened to me. I mean, it is essentially a fleece. I never really shop at Zara. The pants in there are so God damn long it's just insane. I resent having to pay a tailoring fee just because my legs are a normal, average kind of length. But I saw these things on and I really like all of them. (I wouldn't wear the fleece and the feather skirt at once. I haven't totally lost my mind.)

I also like this crop sweater to sling on as the nights draw in.

As long as it doesn't make me look like this. (Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, much?)

Friday 11 September 2009

That I'll Grant You

(Image via

Isn't this simply the most divine coat that you have ever seen?

I own it.

Possibly not for much longer but currently it is in a large Liberty bag on the floor of my room. Isn't it the most?

New Girl In Town

(Image via Glamour)

I too love Miss Jamil. She is just so terribly bouncy of hair and full of lip, and pretty, pretty, pretty. And she seems unashamedly keen on looking like a girl and being adorable. What's not to love?

(Image via

My positive feelings for Miss Chung wax and wane. But I adore her in this outfit. I covet her hose. And ...leather shorts?!? Ziiiing!