Is It Spring, Chicken?

Do you feel it? Do you think it could really be happening? Is spring about to, well, you know, spring?

Walking about at lunch today it really felt as though it was. The snowdrops are out, and the eager green daffodil stems are impatiently biding their time before they can come into our lives and bring a little happiness along the way.

I am just aching to put away my winter coat and boots and enjoy the frivolities of spring fashions.

Now I just have to work out what I want the look to be. Squeal! Oh, the excitement!

Sleep On It

I am the kind of girl who likes to be comfortable in bed. I am not the kind of girl who feels the need to be overly sexualised. I am quite comfortable with my sexual self and feel absolutely no need to wear something saucy to bed in order to arouse my chosen guest.

I would never, ever wear something like this


(Image via La Senza)

In fact it absolutely horrifies me. Is it a joke, do you think? What rational woman would want to do this to themselves?

I probably come at the opposite end of the scale. I wear traditional pajama bottoms and a vest top. But I wonder if I would be happier wearing something ever so slightly prettier. Is there a middle ground between the two?

This is slightly more acceptable than the monstrosity above, but it is still too suggestive, don't you think?



And I think this is cute, but I'm not that girl. I know my limits.



But then is this just boring?


(Images via Figleaves)

Does it even matter if it will be coming off again anyway?

Tautou Good To Be True

(Image via Glamour magazine)

Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhhh!!!! I am so in love with Miss Tautou in this delicious Lanvin dress. She looks like a strawberry sundae. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm!

I have been terminally underwhelmed by many of the dresses on show at the awards ceremonies this year but I think the ladies did themselves proud for the Baftas. So well done them.

But Auders definitely has to be the cherry on top of an already delightful fashion confection. I think I actually felt butterflies fluttering around my belly when I saw this. I am quite besotted.

Next to Nothing

My lovely friend Emma often shops in Next. I know. And yes. I do. But somehow, miraculously, she always looks great in what she wears from there. And a naughty, knowing twinkle appears in her eye when I squeal "Ooo, I like your skirt/top/trousers, etc.! Where is it/are they from?" And she hesitates. And I know it is coming. And I want to take back the compliment, but it is out there and there is nothing I can do except accept the truth as graciously as possible. Because the answer is: "It's from Next."

Dammit, I hate those words. I HATE THEM. Particularly if said item is super cute, and I would consider wearing it myself.

BUT IT IS FROM NEXT!!!! HOW CAN THIS BE???? YES, I KNOW I AM SHOUTING!!!!

And the worst thing is that I think she has ground me down. And I am holding you partly to blame too.

Because I saw this in a magazine:


(Image via Next)

And I really like it. (It was styled waaaay nicer than this.) And I want to go and buy it. I want to walk into the third circle of my personal hell, and purchase this item. I would obviously prefer not to have to do that, but I think I need it to be mine.

Today is a dark, dark day in my life. And I hold you both accountable. You have done this to me. Bitches!

Tit for Tat

What are your feelings on tattoos? Me? I love 'em. I find them super sexy on boys. I really do. If I see a bit of ink nestling cheekily under a cuff it makes something funny happen to my insides.

And they can be pretty rocking on girls too. I am thinking about getting another. And I like the style of this. It looks modern and pretty without being girly and stupid.

I'm feeling a strong urge to get inked up.

Pop Your Clogs

(Image via Haneli)

Clogs. Hmmmm. My mother was always a big fan. And at some stage during my teenage years they were huge. The brightly coloured, low heeled variety. I wanted them so bad, but it wasn't to be.

And now they seem to have grown up. They look almost elegant. And I am craving them once again.

Look how utterly delightful Miss C looks in hers.

But they are silly, aren't they? I shouldn't covet them at all.

Particularly this pair, which are actually quite ugly.


(Image via Kurt Geiger)

But I do.

Mommie Dearest

Yowza! Look at all that colour! I am so excited about you rocking out a cross between Ms. Zoe and Stifler's mom. I can barely contain myself. And it might even compete with my favourite summer look of yours, the white jean and coral nail Eurotrash thing you had going on a few years ago.

My nasty bitch thing is merely a mid-season blip and I will be back to being a nice girl come spring with floaty, girly dresses in neutral shades and my new trench with white broderie anglaise.

Make it happen, doll face! I want to see that going awn!

Pool Rules

I know you're going all bad girl with your skinnies and your tees and what not...

Via Jules Reid

...I'm going for Rachel Zoe meets Stiffler's Mom at a gin soaked pool party myself. 

I need to look like this.  NEED.

Ta darrrr! Til aaaa!

(Daily Mail)

Tildaaaa looks AMAZE!

Rude Awakening

Word! It's me! Here I am! I loved the story about the Rude Girl* and I had to post. That's HILAIRE. I tell you what though, if you're dressed like Salt N Pepa and Pushing It and Wanting to Talk About Sex next time I see you I shall sit you down and have a word, but until then, carry on with your high tops! In my mind's eye I just can't imagine this renaissance moment that you're having but you know, it sounds tremendous.

In addition:

1. I loathe those cut out frocks too. They are everywhere and you're right they are for nippers and no one else.

2. I bought a denim DRESS the other day. Hmm. It has a flared skirt and turn uppable collars. I'm not sure what came over me. I had a similar vision to your about the bicycling and plimsols etc etc but I can't get over the fact that I feel like Doris sodding Day in it. It shall be returned.

3. Eva Herzigova freaks me out a bit. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but...I don't want to talk about her.

4. THAT DRESS SOUNDS AMAAAAZE! I have been quietly hoping for a revival of the Versace of the early 90's for ages. I had some leggings like those in that ad when I was 13. They were from Debenhams and I was young and still hadn't worked out that it was pronounced VersaCHEEE not VerSACE but I wanted IN to that glitzy fancy world. I wish I still had them now. The Head would Freak OUT if I threatened to wear them out, and I live for moments like that. I like the boots even though you don't find them perfect.

5. Miley Cyrus? NEXT! The Hollywood Startlet I am loving today is Jess Simps after that oddly pointed creature Jonathon Meyer said she was 'Napalm' in the bedroom. Bam!

6. The Kurt Geiger's are gorge but won't go with your bad girl rapper image darling, think twice before you commit.

* I mean Rude as in Ruuuuude 'cos I am well street, innit.  But actually, if she pushed you she sounds as though she was quite rude in the traditional sense of the word also.

Heart of Darkness

(Image via Handbag.com)

I saw a girl on tv the other day wearing a similar dress to this. With a heart shaped cut out. It wasn't cute, and neither is this one.

Unless you are an actual infant, that is.

Metamorphosis

(Image via Kate Westerholt)

First off, how awesome is this sampler???! I love it soooooo much. And all her other ones are rockin' too.

I went to River Island yesterday to peruse the new additions (I am not eating junk and not shopping at the moment, and forchrissakes something had to give...!)and something unusual happened. I was looking at a rail when I got almost pushed to the floor by quite a large black girl, whose look could only be described as ghetto fabulous. So I brushed myself off and went back to my perusalage, not paying her any mind. And yet, and yet... almost every time that I looked at something I found she was next to me, her acrylic nailed hand beside mine stroking the satorially dubious item that I happened to be looking at too. She even asked about these black and white tie dye leggings that I secretly coveted from their website. (I know! You don't have to tell me darling. I know myself only too well...)

What the devil is going on? I know I'm wearing skinnies and high tops but really! Have I gone too far? I'm a very white, very middle class kinda girl. Who am I kidding with this stuff? Or should I just say I want to wear lurid and tight clothes and there is nothing wrong with that...?

Please help!

Lose Your Shirt

I'm so contrary. I always wanted to be one of those women with a signature style and a signature scent and a capsule wardrobe.

I thought I would be crazy in what I wore for a while and then become unspeakably elegant and grown up. With that signature style. But I'm 30 now, and I am resigned to the fact that that is probably never going to happen. I am far too much of a Geminian, split-personality, bored easily kind of girl. And that goes for my wardrobe too.

So while it probably wasn't that long ago that I spoke of how me and the denim weren't particularly friends and that I should reconcile myself to that fact (to which you agreed), I now find myself absolutely craving, I mean really yearning for a milky pale, butter soft denim shirt.


(Image via Asos.com)

Kind of like this one by longer and slouchier, a bit more of a delinquent, to wear belted over floral dresses or skirts with a simple pair of plimsolls, for wearing while I am cycling around the countryside, falling into piles of drying hay and fumbling with beautiful farm boys and getting chafed knees and straw in my hair... You know... like I do.

For Eva and a Day

Gosh, doesn't Eva Herzigova look elegant?


(Image via Handbag.com)

Who would believe that this is the way she looked when we first got to know her?



Vast improvement, no? Vast.

Delightful to Boot

Darling, I tell you what, I went and bought the most OBSCENE dress the other day. Honestly, it is positively x-rated and utterly foul. It is pink with a kind of twisted chains in an 80s tasteless Versace stylee. You know, kinda like this...



It is also Skin. Tight.

I bought it with a view to wearing it with the ponies and tacky gold jewellery and a corset belt. But dear god, the thing is so naaaasty that I've got to rough it up a bit. So I was thinking about a slouchy cardigan and some tough girl boots. If these were blacker and didn't come up quite as high I think they would be just the ticket.



(Image via Kurt Geiger)

Right. Um... Yeah. If they were, like, totally different, then they'd be kinda perfect...

Run a Mile(y)

(Image via Glamour Magazine)

Dude, please tell me I am not alone in being TOTALLY, 100% over Miley Cyrus.

Come Hell or High Water

(Image via Kurt Geiger)

I really shouldn't do this. I should know myself better. But nevertheless I went and made an empty promise to myself, didn't I? I said, "I will not buy shoes that are too high and that I can't comfortably stomp around in". And it was meant with the utmost sincerity.

But then I went and clocked these bad boys, and well, I think I might be wavering. Aren't they awfully pretty? Wouldn't they look great on me...?!

The Thais That Bind

(Image via La Redoute)

I have an image in my mind of posh girls on their gap year "roughing it" in Thailand. I don't like this image very much. But I am thinking about going to Southeast Asia at some point this year to visit Rod and Melissa in Singapore and then head off for an adventure.

But what on earth to wear? All clothing options that are occuring to me seem horrifically clichéd. Loose linen trousers? Maxi dresses? Long belted skirts? Combat pants??? There must be a way to do it without looking totally contrived, no?

Saint or Sinner?

(Image via All Saints)

Actually, I am generally on a bit of an All Saints kick at the moment. I have always thought they were over priced and too you know, hardcore, trendy, Antwerp-style torn up for me. But with this bad girl thing I want to start rocking I am starting to really feel it.

I really love this dress. It seems quite Westwood to me. Do we like it?

Single White Female

Darling, I lost a few pounds while I was away. And I wouldn't suggest that there isn't still quite a lot of me, but I am feeling quite a lot more confident at the moment. And I am fairly determined to keep the weight off and keep on going.

So I bought some very tight skinny jeans from River Island, which I love, as a way of ensuring that the weight doesn't creep back on. I also bought some Nike burgundy quilted high tops which look amazing with the jeans. (They are tasteful, I promise you, you would love them...)

But I find that I might be cloning your style, because all I want to do is wear grungy mean girl t shirts with my skinnies and lots of silver jewellery and lots of black eyeliner. If I had any hair to speak of I would want to be bouffing it...


(Image via All Saints)

Is this ok? I want to swap my pink nail varnish for steel. I want to wear check shirts and a sneer. I want to put away my pretty dresses and just, you know, be nasty!

What's going on?

Today's Gaga

Hey! Good timing! CONC is back and good ole Lady G was at the Grammy's yesterday.


(Image via Glamour magazine)

Life is sweet!

Spring Break

It's February! Yeah! And this half of CONC is back from her travels.

Here is me in front of Everest and Nuptse. Pretty awesome, huh?!



And if there is anything that a hiking trip gives me (other than a more rounded picture of the world and different cultures and the infinite beauty there is to discover, obviously) it is a desire to get out of my practical walking clothes and boots and start thinking about frivolous fashion!

Honestly, I don't know that I have been this excited about the thought of spring and summer clothes since, well... ever.

Armed with magazines I decided my first must have purchase was to be a trench. You know, flirty and cute, classic but adaptable. However, this was to be quite a challenge as I have tried on many a trench in the past and each venture down Trench Avenue had ended in tears with me just not being able to find one that suited me. So I decided that if my trench dreams were to be fulfilled this year then I would have to start a campaign, set aside a day, go everywhere that might be shielding a trench and flush them out, try and try and try on again until I found one. I would prevail!

But in reality I ended up walking in to Oasis, finding this:


(Image via Oasis)

Tried it on, tweaked it a little, fell in love a little, proceeded to the check out and the little treat was mine! Easy as.

Let's hope that all my shopping whims will be catered to as easily! Although, on second thoughts, that might end up being excessively pricey... Err...