It's a Fair(isle) Cop!

(Via Dale of Norway)

A few years ago the folks and I ripped it up on a cruise along the Norwegian coast. Yes, it was awesome, thanks. Well, every day without fail we were utterly entertained by another passenger proudly making an appearance in the traditional Norwegian knitted jumper or cardigan. It made us chuckle, as though it were the equivalent of wearing an I Heart Cruisin' t-shirt.

But actually they were beautiful designs and nicely made. And now that I'm not cruisin' in Norway I really wished I owned one. Particularly as the nights will soon be drawing in.


(Via Topshop)

I guess the option I have here is the Fairisle. And it does seem to be quite the trend this season. I eyed up this little To'Sho' number a while back. But I was not alone. It seems to be developing a nasty little case of ubiquity, I've seen it hanging around town like some woollen ne'er-do-well. So, sartorial snob that I am, it is not for me.


(Via River Island)

And the River Island number? Hmmm, not too sure. It kinda makes me think of something. Something unsavoury...



Know what I mean?

Meat and Two Veg

(Excuse the headline, I know the penis allegations were some time ago but I couldn't resist. It just seemed fitting somehow.)


(Via Go Fug Yourself)

I am off my game. I have passed my prime. I am old hat. I am, indeed, thoroughly ashamed of myself.

Because something momentous happened, and I didn't know. It took a man, and a hetero one at that, to point out to me that Gaga was parading around in public in a dress that she had fashioned at her local butcher's shop. She looks like a walking Gunther von Hagens exhibit.

Lawks a lordy! How did she think of that? Why did she think of that? And was everyone supplied with nose plugs to conquer the god-awful smell that must have been emanating from that meaty beast?

These are the important questions. I think it only fair to demand they are answered.

On another note... Cher! I mean, honestly, there are no words...

A Snake in the Grass

So, I found a picture of the Temperley. The Cobra dress. Although the detailing on the neckline and sleeves is an orange-red not black. Very pretty.

I am so terribly in love with it. Plus it was at a huge discount, which obviously makes it that much more satisfying.

Let's just hope no one spills red wine on me...

Mad as a Hatter

So, the wedding...

I have bought a really beautiful Temperley dress. It was from Bicester Village so it's old stock and I can't find a picture of it. It is cream with an orange-red applique at the neckline. It is terribly pretty and romantic.

But cream? For a wedding? I think it needs toughening up a bit (or my stylist friend did, at any road), so I was thinking about black accessories. Maybe a thin belt and black shoes. But I was also thinking of some kind of head piece. Not a fascinator, but something more subtle. Like a decorated alice band.

I think this one is probably too Alice. Too girly.



I like the idea of a feather, something that sits very close to the head. But I don't like the beading on this.



This one might stick out so far and make me look insane.



And while this one has a lot going on I do quite like it, although I wish it was on a thinner band.


(Via Accessorize)

So what do you think?

A) Nice thought, just keep looking for a better one?

B) One of these might work (I'll obviously have a better idea once I have tried them)?

C) Avoid like the plague and leave my head bare?

Advice please!

Louis Louis

OK, so after the Isabel Marant pointy courts I have found my next shoe of the season to lust after. The Louis Vuitton pointy toed delicate court with a stonking great chunky heel.



I think I might want these even more than the Marants.



There is something so appealing about the prettiness at the front and the sturdiness at the back. Particulaly when the sturdiness is covered in diamanté.



They suit that super femme look of the rest of the Louis Vuitton collection so well. Seeing as I am naturally all about the impressive frontage, small(ish) waist and child-bearing hips it would feel rude not to flaunt them the way that Mr. Jacobs has directed.



Oh gosh, I just yearn to be able to sling on a voluminous swing coat, long leather gloves, a pair of these shoes (but oh! which pair?) and grab a framed handbag as I trip out into the damp leaf-strewn autumnal streets of Paris as though I were staring in a fifties movie about a free spirited but aristocratic English girl looking to find herself, discover philosophy and fall in love.



Hmmm, am I reading too much into this?


(Via Style)

The Long and the Short of it

I have been living out of a suitcase for over three weeks. Which while I'm travelling is a breeze. But while a girl is in the metropolis, the beating heart of this great country of ours, you know, er, London? Well, it's just not on.

And in fact I fear my very sanity might be at risk. So yesterday, like a desperate harridan I scoured the streets looking for something I could buy and wear. Something new, something fabulous. But could I find it? Could I heck.

Then I was caught in the grips of that shopping obsession that occurs to those with even the most stolid and logical disposition. When the shops are nearly closing and a hysteria descends that dictates that come what may we must take something home. We must have something new. IT IS OUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO SPEND OUR MONEY! And I got a crazed glint in my eye and I started pulling things wantonly from the shelves.

But fortunately even in this frenzied state I draw the line at buying something totally inappropriate. And the only thing I even vaguely liked was this skirt.


(Via Zara)

But it was not to be because it only comes in XS, S and M. Because Ls don't deserve nice clothes. And conversely Zara doesn't deserve an L's hard earned cash. So I will now be looking for another formal, long skirt emporium that does. Let me know if you see anything anywhere.

Don't Lose Your Shirt

Am I alone in hating to see a man without his shirt on in an urban environment? At the beach? Fine. But in the city? Eeeugghh!

I don't want to see that much of you. I don't know you.

Even if you have a beautiful body.

Like if you are a runner. And you are running. With your shirt off. I don't need that in my life. I think I might be alone in this though, as when I made my opinion known while on Clapham Common I was quickly silenced as everyone strained to get a look at the half naked runner who had prompted my remarks, with one particularly excitable lady yelling "you're hot!" as he sped passed blisfully unaware (or aware).

I wonder if I am becoming old fashioned and fusty, like when I realise I am the only person who writes my appointments in an actually physical diary made of paper and who thinks that eating in the street is disgusting.

If the Devil Should Cast His Net

(Via Net a Porter)

God damn Net a Porter! Why do they have to have so many lovely things, all in one place?

Why did I have to see this divine RM by Roland Mouret dress and fall so comprehensively in love with it that any other dress that I might look at will come a very, very distant second to it in my heart?

!&*@!£*@£! Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!

I Kid You Not

(Via River Island)

I am rather enamoured of this sweater. Generally speaking this season I am quite in favour of a sweater rather than just a cardigan as I have sported in previous winters. This one has very tiny little pom poms on it. Eeeensy weensy ones. But I am also of the opinion that a grown woman should not exhibit a pom pom about her person. It just makes you look insane. Like a fifty year old woman in a babydoll. It's just a bit gross and icky and, indeed, morally dubious. But a teeny, tiny pom pom or a hundred? Can I manage to justify that to myself? And is it even worth it?

Way to Zoe

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

You're a fan of Rachel Zoe's aren't you? To be honest I know very little about her, and what I do know hasn't encouraged me to learn more really. Very thin, very tanned, very bed head bedecked, very boho. Famous for making more famous thin people look equally tanned and boho. Yada, yada, yada. I'm so utterly exhausted of a patterned maxi dress I could... (yawn) actually, I'm not sure I have the energy.

But this outfit? With the severe black and the pouffy sleeve and pronounced waist and enormous hooves and scraped back hair? Well, that's a girl I could get interested in.

Ruffle a Few Feathers

I have a wedding dilemma. Just been invited. Only know one person. Dress code apparently smart/casual. Aaarrrggghhh! What to wear?

Don't want to go too posh or too dressed down. Not too sure...

Was kind of thinking about wearing cigarette pants with my one shouldered Lanvin-esque leopard print top. But then I saw this


(Via River Island)

and thought with a black vest top and cardigan, black tights and very high heels. Then maybe the gold and black hard clutch from Reiss that I have and some other gold jewellery. Or maybe black jewellery. Or is that too dour?

What other options? I want for the person I am going with to find me devastatingly attractive but then not put anyone's back up.

Gordon Bennett!

LK Bennett have some really lovely shoes in their autumn/winter collection.



Interesting shapes and beautiful jewel colours.







I particularly like these. They would satisfy my point craving, and I love the little strap. But which pair to buy?



Leopard print?



Classic black?


(Via LK Bennett)

Or red patent leopard print?

OK, Just One More, I Promise...!

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

I couldn't be pithy about this one, and it isn't cut-and-dried. So if you will excuse me just one more.

I think Christina Hendricks often struggles to look good, less because of that unruly and delicious body of hers, more because she seems to have got it into her head that a body like that can only be clothed in vintage styles. Because in the 21st Century no one actually has a body like that, clearly, so perish the thought she doesn't look like she just fell out of a 1950s film noir.

But this dress? Well... It nearly gets it. The colour is heavenly. It suits her, it's very pretty, it's soft but not wishy washy.

The fundamental shape is lovely and works with her figure. It reminds me a lot of My Favourite Oscar Dress (Ever), that worn by Michelle Williams.



But I think it falls down where it deviates from that dress. The detail on the bodice is flattering and interesting, and surely enough detail to stop it from being boring. But then there is way too much sleeve going on. And the feathers? I loathe them. They look like a growth, or like some sub aquatic parasite. They have no place on a dress. And I think there is far too much weight and fabric in the skirt. I feel she would have almost no choice but to lumber inelegantly carting that much skirt around.

And again this has a vintage feel, but somehow more like a brothel madam in a western played by Mae West.





Which, by all accounts, should make me hate it. But (with the exception of the feathers which are just hideous and unjustifiable) I think it is pretty and suits her.

What are your thoughts, lovely readers? Can a dress with so much wrong actually come out right?

Best in Show

Undoutedly it is very tedious to talk about Emmy dresses as half of the blogosphere is almost certainly up to the same antics. So I will be brief and to the point about what I love.



Jane Krakowski rocked the navy, draped, super feminine look.



The shade of Emily Blunt's dress is so very pretty, and loving the jewels.


(Via Go Fug Yourself)

Elisabeth Moss looks so lovely, the dress suits her to a T.

Oh, and they are all one-shouldered and drapy. This is obviously something that appeals to me. Well, played ladies, well played!

Make No Jones About It

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

How utterly delicious is this dress?

It's like armour! Like thousands of enormous titanium sequins welded together to create this glorious, pointy-breasted warrior gown. I imagine that when she walks it sounds like wind blowing through a forest where hundreds of peasants are being decapitated by the sharpest Samurai swords and that it causes fearless fighters to fall helplessly at her feet as she sweeps by.