The Thigh's the Limit

I saw a lady this morning on my way into work wearing a pair of over-the-knee high-heeled platform boots. She looked very sexy. You know, kinda inappropriately sexy for the day, and for a work-based situation.

And generally when I think of over-the-knee boots I think of this.

To be honest.

In fact, I imagine that is why said boots are now called over-the-knee rather than the decidedly racy thigh-high. Which was much more salacious, wouldn't you agree? Much more suggestive. Over-the-knee, in comparison, sounds positively demure.

Not to suggest that the lady I saw looked like a happy hooker. (For one thing her boots were much nicer.) I'm sure her morals and choice of employment were unquestionable. In fact beyond her face and hands there was absolutely no flesh showing whatsoever. But even so the look was inherently sexy. They just can't help it, those naughty boots.

Now a funny thing has happened with boots over the last few years. It used to be all about the knee high, then the ankle muscled in and became the king of the castle, and in my mind it's rule has never been rescinded.

However, with variety being the spice of life and all I would quite like to mix it up a bit.

The boring old knee high boot doesn't excite me, and the shoe boot is really just a sweet little imposter, I'm sorry to break it to you darlings, but you aren't really boots.

So there is really only one option. What can that possibly be?! I hear you say. Well hold on to your hats because I really am suggesting the over-the-knee-er as a viable alternative.

I know that Jameela Jamil is flashing rather a lot of thigh here, and obviously that is still rather saucy. But wack on a pair of opaques and I think this flat Russell & Bromley pair are rather fetching.

But shall I tell you what I particularly love about the possibility of rocking a pair? While with thigh showing or with a very short skirt the look still screams sex, with the ladylike look and especially with a full mid-length skirt the silhouette manages to balance the prim and the suggestible. Which I think is a rather nice interplay. The risk of looking a little too grown up or dowdy is instantly negated by the sexiness of the boot. So for those worried about being kerb-crawled but want to give it a go wear your boot high and your skirt longer and observers will have to imagine just how far up they go. Sexiness in the mind is far more intriguing than having it all out there. Wouldn't you agree?

(Images via Entertainment Wise,  Net a Porter)

A Cat in Hell's Chance

(Image via Office)

Vagina boots? What does that even mean? If you wear them you have a vagina? Or will show all and sundry your vagina? Or they're made out of... ok, I'll stop there. That is gross.

You know there are certain items that people who aren't in to fashion (most of them having willies) just don't get.

I guess over-the-knee boots are one of those things. Doesn't make them wrong, though.

The majority of girls I have seen wearing them have been doing so with considerable style and panache and haven't once made me think about whoring (unlike the girl on Snaresbrook platform this morning in her wetlook leggings and stripper shoes) or vaginas.

Let us focus our minds on something really heinous... thank you Irregular Choice. Aren't they the ugliest damn boots you ever saw?

Specialist Subject

Ha! You know what? These ones are the boot embodiment of the day that some friends and I sellotaped another friend inside a phone box. Hoooo! How we laughed. (We lived in a tiny village, there wasn't much to do, what can I say? Don't judge me.) Anyway they make me feel a bit claustrophobic. I don't like them. They look as though a lightweight summer duvet has been wound round the model's leglets and secured with duct tape. In fact, do you have any idea how many colours you can buy that stuff in? There is a rainbow of duct tape available to us, the general public.

WOAH! I think I might be hearing from IT. I had no idea what a lot of 'specialist' websites there are about people who like to fashion outfits out of pretty coloured duct tapes. One innocent click and my computer went in to lock down and I expected alarms to sound. Honestly. So perhaps those Rodarte bad boys are more fetish than phone box. Search for yourself at your peril. (Google images has a LOT to answer for.)

I'm OK with an over the knee boot is it's flat and leather. Never suede. That is just too principal boy.

This is Lucy Vestris, the first Principal Boy EVER! (My gift to you fact fans!)

Over-The-Knee Jerk Reaction

Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Not exactly a trend setter, you might think. Or not one that should ever be adhered to. And yet for the coming season it seems that me might be rocking her look. Or part of it at least.

Because yes, I think I might have found that incredibly difficult item that even though rationally I know I should avoid I want it so bad it is bringing me out in a rash.

The over-the-knee boot.


I know. I didn't see it coming either.

And yet here I find myself lusting after them terribly. And having conquered the skinny jean (although that might have been a brief triumph if I don't hot foot it to the gym pronto) I feel that I am ready to take on other clothing reprobates.

But is it a challenge too far? Look how delightful Miss Rachel Weisz looks in hers. Although with those pins and that withering glare who would doubt her? I'm not sure I would necessarily be able to stand up to questioning quite so admirably.

I wouldn't want to go the route that many of the designers have gone. Is it a boot or is it plegging with a shoe welded on? (A pleather legging, if you were in any doubt. Honestly with these skills I should work for Grazia.) Or has the model been hosed down with liquid latex? And deary me, just how high do they go? Are they an invitation to a nasty bout of thrush? No. Thank. You.

But a flat pair that comes just over the knee...? Couldn't they be scrumptious? Couldn't they be just the very thing? With a mini? And layer upon layer of knitwear?

Gosh, I'm dreaming of winter already! Can't wait!

In part I think I have just been lured in as they have merely been repackaged. No longer the thigh high boot, which really does scream Sunset Strip of an evening, or pantomime principal boy (well slap my thigh!) it is now the over-the-knee boot, which is far more palatable. Don't you agree?

(Catwalk images via Style.com)

And just in case you were in any way inclined to disagree with me I present my last piece of evidence: two of your favourite girls (in the same pair, at the same event, interestingly). Are you convinced now?

Oh, go on...! Pretty please!