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Oi oi, what's this? I found her....er I forget where, apols!

Isn't she lovely? Swoooon. I wish Alexa would sexy it up a bit more often. I get bored of the brogues and the cardies and the pie crust collars, but a bit of burnt out turquoise leopard print? I bloody love it!

This is Jameela Jamil. She is the new Alexa. She we have got her now that the Real Alexa has gone over to the US to be their New Alexa. Or the First Alexa. Or...whatevs, you get me. I love Jameela. She 's so bonny. And her fringe is so...FULL. It's admirable!

Today's Gaga

(Image via Daily Mail)

Does the woman never TIRE for heavens sake? Ha!

(I'm so glad the leotard is back. I felt the world had tipped on it's axis seeing Stefanie in a sheer tight.)

Today's Gaga

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)

OK, I love her again.

Cry Wolf

As the lovely Shakira says...there's a she wolf in your closest. Let her out so she can breath.

Then she pants and howls. You've got to love Shakira. Quite quite mad. And bendy, so bendy. That's a whole lotta shoe hot stuff. As long as you can walk in them in a normal human way rather than a little pony like trot I'm all for it.

Oh My Gosh

(Image via Kurt Geiger)

Gosh. That is both the name of this shoe and my reaction when I saw it.

It is not pussy footing around, is it?

Stripper shoe platform? CHECK

Purple snakeskin? CHECK

Chains? CHECK

Metal studs? CHECK

I know it is wrong and yet my Evil Shoe Twin has awoken in me once again, because I kinda love it. Please show me the error of my ways.

Play it By Ear

(Image via Style.com)

I too am undecided about whether it is playful and charming or "hey, look how kooky I am!" thereby making it utterly unappealing.

(Image via Fashion Copious)

I am loving it on the Olsens, though, because they can do anything and still look cute. And I totally agree about Ashley, and have done for quite some time.

Ear Ear

You know what, when Madonna wore those funny sort of earish things at the Met Ball? Well I didn't think she looked THAT bad. A bit dotty, but you know there was a lot worse going on that night and she is knocking on a bit. Well since then I've noticed a lot of ears going on. I don't geddit.

(Mary Kate and Ashley Images)

But MK & A wore ears recently (I know not which 'do' they were at) and you know...I'm coming round to the idea. Hhahaha! What NEXT? (Also, doesn't Ashely look nice? I think she's taken over as my new favourite.)

State of the Art

Yes, lets. We could send them letters. The people who do this blog sent letters to everyone that lives in a little village called Cushendall in Ireland. Can you imagine getting a letter from someone you didn't know? (I chose this one as an example because it is the most fashiony, you see?)

Apparently they are artists. Some people might find this charming in the extreme. I think it is tedious. It makes me roll my eyes. Why don't artists do paintings anymore? That we can look at and ooh and ahh over? E and I particularly like a painting that looks like a photograph. We LOVE that shizz. We just stare and stare saying 'BUT IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A PHOTOGRAPH DOESN'T? JUST LIKE ONE!!!' whilst shaking our heads in wonder. And in the same vein, I don't get why so many fashion photogs are doing shoots with nekkid models. The point is the clothes surely? Weirdness. The world is going mad I tell you. If only there were more painting like photographs things would be much, much simpler.

Anyway, yes let's campaign. But it has to be said, even though creepy Terry makes me feel yaktastic, I am more than happy with bum out leotards. I'd love one for real! Hahahaha I would though!

Filthy Rich(ardson)

(Image via Fashion Copious)

Dude, I was going to post exact the same thing. Urgh! I am so over it. His filthy, porny, faux-lesbo, I'm just a dirty old man getting paid to paw young girls and call it fashion schtick. It grosses me out. There is no subtlety or creativity involved. It's just exploitative and I can't imagine that any of the women that these magazines are aimed at want to look at it.

Shall we start a campaign to encourage editors not to commission him?

Bum Deal

(Image via Fashion Copius)

I just saw a spread from new the issue of Purple on Fashion Copious.

Am I the only person to be getting bored to tears by Terry 'Arses Out' Richardson. I mean really, Bored. To. Tears.

What's Not to Lycra?

I have to confess that since my little tantrum I have developed a bit of an issue with sportswear myself. Obviously I am not the type to wear it for non sporting occasions, but seeing as I want to be in a suitable physical state to climb mountains I need to start frequenting the gym significantly more frequently.

And of course a girl has to be dressed right for breaking into a sweat. I have been into Sweaty Betty more often in the last couple of weeks than any other shop. I even have a loyalty card for goodness sake.

So I take back anything mean I might have said about sportswear (except I stand by anything derogatory that passed by lips about JB Sports or JJB Sports, clearly) and I have to say YOWZA! That Addidas stuff is super sexy and appealing. Well done you for finding it. You must have it. (Once that banjo is in the Head's sweaty little mitts, of course. When will he be performing to the great unwashed...?!)

Dumb Belle?

I know my posting is thin on the ground right now. I know I know I know. The reasons for this are twofold.

a) It is The Head's birthday in a week and a bit. And what does he want? A banjo. I KNOW! ME NEITHER, but if that's what my beloved wants that's what he shall have. But they are pricey so I don't have any spare money to spend on sequined animal print minis so I daren't even LOOK at any website that will encourage me to shop. Damn it.

b) I am obsessed with gym clothes and as soon as I have some spare money that's they way it'll be going. I am bored of washing and washing and tumblying my gym things. I want lycra, that dries fast and doesn't need ironing. (The Head doesn't see the point in this but I think going to the gym in a t shirt that isn't crisply ironed is just setting oneself up to be DESTROYED by those cross trainers.) And I want to Jamie Lee it up. I wish I could get away with wearing a leotard with a belt, but I think I might raise a few eyebrows down Surbiton Racquet and Fitness.

I like these things from Addidas. Predominately because they have shiny wet look bits. Do they bridge the gap between Jamie and Suburbiton nicely?

That's a Wrap

(Image via The Sartorialist)

If only I could look this fabulous this winter.

Four!!

Errrr, hmmm. I don't like them Kerrkins. They remind me of golf clubs. In that, I think they might make your leglets look like a wood...the club which, as Wiki helpfully describes 'generally have a large head and a long shaft for maximum club speed' . I do not think feets need to be built up to generate maximum club speed. Although if you deiced to kick a ball in those babies just watch it FLLYYYYYY!

It's weird because I used to have some boots that looked just like that and I loved them. They were from Kookai and I wore them solidly for weeks. And then the wedge just FELL OFF. I could not believe it! And I had to battle for a refund. Perhaps that has coloured my judgement...because they are everywhere! So there is a good chance that I may be wrong.

I draw the line at these from Toppity Shop though. I am not wrong about these. They are horrid!

Thin Edge of the Wedge

(Image via Office)

I have become borderline obsessed with getting a rockin' ankle boot for A/W. I have even been thinking about studs. But I know I am not going to work the rock/bike chick bad girl look. I am pretty sure you would be able to do it well enough for the both of us.

But I can't get the ankle boot out of my mind.

I was even thinking about an open toe wedge ankle boot. But that is just foolishness, isn't it? However does merely closing the toe solve that problem or is it still just too silly?

I am sorey tempted, though, I have to say. All the other boots that I am lusting after that are quite hardcore just wouldn't go with my look, but these I feel have a chance of being a bit more me.

Yay or nay? I await your honesty with bated breath...