Strait-Laced

I have to be frank with you. I just don't know about lace. It seems great, and fun and lovely, but I think it might talk about me behind my back, I think it might try and make me look bad.

Because try as I might to make friends with it I fear it cheapens me.

Right now you can barely move for another picture of Kristen Stewart at a premier in a lace dress. And she (for the most part) looks good in them.

Despite that I was listening to my hard won anti-lace stance until I saw this divine By Malene Birger dress in a sweet boutique in Bath. I love it. Particularly as the lace back doesn't show flesh through it, which I think is part of my problem with lace. You know in that it looks like you are covered in spider's webs.

In fact that might be the source of my fear of lace. I had a lace trimmed dressing gown when I was younger and one day when I thought the lace cuff was scratching me I looked down to discover a spider hanging out. I wasn't best pleased, I can tell you.

So is it time to get over my phobia? I'm not afraid of spiders anymore so maybe I could give lace a chance too.

I am loving all of these other By Malene Birger lace numbers.

 Or is it best left for the likes of Kristen? Hmmm, tricky.

(Images via By Malene Birger)

Take a Hike

One or two people have questioned me recently how I can reconcile the part of me that is obsessed with fashion, and this beloved (by me at least) blog, and my high standards of fashion judgement with the part of me that likes to hike in the mountains, totally happy not washing my hair for three weeks and wearing only technical fabrics.

And to be honest, I have no response. The heart wants what the heart wants and even while a mountain climbing fashion maven might be oxymoronic, that is just the way it is and the way it will stay.

Up until this point my two great loves have remained distinct, occuring only one or other at a time. (As I mentioned, technical fabrics. And while I love them, I would not suggest that they have too much to do with style. I try my best, but really there is only so much I can do.) But then the high heeled hiking boot happened.

When I first saw them I sneered the way only someone who wears actual hiking boots could. How dare someone try and combine hiking and fashion, it just isn't done. Who do they think they are kidding? Etc. But I have seen a few pairs and I really want them. Not sure what I would wear them with, but I think they might have to be mine. Am I utterly deluded? Should the two be kept apart? Should hiking boots only be flat and heeled boots not go hiking?

Keeping (Literally) Up With the Jones'

(Image via The Daily Mail)

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LIZ!  STOP IT.  STOP IT NOW!

You know me.  I'm ALL FOR a bit of height at the crown but there are limits.

Dumb Belle?

I know my posting is thin on the ground right now. I know I know I know. The reasons for this are twofold.

a) It is The Head's birthday in a week and a bit. And what does he want? A banjo. I KNOW! ME NEITHER, but if that's what my beloved wants that's what he shall have. But they are pricey so I don't have any spare money to spend on sequined animal print minis so I daren't even LOOK at any website that will encourage me to shop. Damn it.

b) I am obsessed with gym clothes and as soon as I have some spare money that's they way it'll be going. I am bored of washing and washing and tumblying my gym things. I want lycra, that dries fast and doesn't need ironing. (The Head doesn't see the point in this but I think going to the gym in a t shirt that isn't crisply ironed is just setting oneself up to be DESTROYED by those cross trainers.) And I want to Jamie Lee it up. I wish I could get away with wearing a leotard with a belt, but I think I might raise a few eyebrows down Surbiton Racquet and Fitness.

I like these things from Addidas. Predominately because they have shiny wet look bits. Do they bridge the gap between Jamie and Suburbiton nicely?

Thinking Aloud

The Head LOVES Kimberly Girl's Aloud. Seriously. L.O.V.E.S. her. I think it is her hip to waist ratio that he enjoys the most although he has proved herself prone to Northern ladies' charms. Anyway, I think he will enjoy 'Goth Glitterball Kimberly' being splashed all over the papers today as the face of New Look. As do I actually. I am fond of all the Girls Alouds apart from Nadine. I don't dislike her, I just feel like I have have warmed to her the least. And you know, she spends a lot of time in LA now and...I just don't feel like she's giving it her all. I wonder what the other GA's think about it?

But, where were we? So yes, Kimberley's bottom looks nice in that doesn't it? I had a look at what else New Look would like to sell us and I saw this:

(Images via New Look)

You know how much I love my black sequin mini...is this too much? With a t-shirt. And a flat?

Head Mistress

Wow. I tell you what, there's nothing worse than a flaccid head bow is there? I'm glad I decided against gift wrapping myself at the last wedding. It was For The Best. But I tell you what, now I've taken on the peg jean and won, my new obsession that doesn't suit me is a bejewelled head band...thing. I rilly want one. But I always look stupid. I think I mush have an extraordinarily large head because whenever I have tried one they always creep slowly upwards until off they shoot...ping! And I mean, I don't want to be pinging a bejewelled band at The Head, or worse still, a vague acquaintance over dinner do I?

(Image via Coco + Kelly)

But I keep seeing things like this and I reeeeeeally like them. Man! What do you think?

(Images via Daily Mail)

Or I could just stick a plume on my head and look like I'd wandered out of a saloon at the OK Corral and straight into Ladies day at Ascot. What do you mean no? You don't like it?

You Can't Make Me!

( Image via Design Scene)

This is a terribly nice idea and all, French Elle's famous gals without make up issue, but not for a MINUTE does it inspire me to ditch my slap. You know me, full on warpaint every day of my actual life. It's not that I think I look like a pig without it, I just look so much better with it that it just isn't logical not to.

The wedding make up is causing me probs though. I was thinking of a full on eye but then I look majorly DONE and a little night timey. Perhaps a sweeping slick of liner might be the best bet?What would you suggest?

White Elephant

OK. So the white embellished blouse/shirt/thing that I bought on Friday has had to go back. I know was excited about getting out of black but I looked really ODD in it. You know how things sometimes look very different when you're in your house to how they appear in the shop, because we don't have magic mirrors and iridescent lightingand all that jazz at home...well this was like a really extreme case of that. The 'item' drained my entire body of colour, not just my face. Honestly, even my limbs paled when I slung it on. And it was at once enormous and baggy. Sort of voluminously flaccid. And more see through than I expected. Wow, I'm going into so much unnecessary detail about how bad it made me look. Suffice to say The Head said I looked 'like a mad hippie' in it so it was returned forthwith.

HOWEVER. The Gorgeous Boys bought me a delicious jersey top from COS for my birthday which is navy blue. And it is so charming I had a look int here today and found another top that I love which is sort or, hmmm, brown but not brown. But sort of aubergine-y but not that either. And I have started looking further afield. What do you think to these please? Drumm roll please? Cute or Note Cute?

(Images via Next)

(Don't hate them just because they're from Next. Admittedly the white dress looks a bit clinical and/or origami-esque in that picture but it is nicer in real life.)

Addendum - I tried on the white frock and looked like a GOD DAMN NAPKIN. I don't know what I was thinking. I am still a bit interested in the top though.

Ugliest items of 2009 - part 4 (I think)

I thought we were up to post 4 of this delightful series, but I can't find part 3. It started to drive me mad and then I just decided to start from 4 and that shall be it. This is all by the by however, let's just cut to the chase. MAMA MIA! WHAT THE..? Aren't these just, horrid?

All hands on deck

(Images via office.co.uk)

I find these rather whimsical. I know I should hate them but they put into my mind the jollity of sailing and pints of lemonade and lime at the lakeside club house. I might draw the line at buying them but I am definitely considering it. Lazily, perhaps, but considering nonetheless.

Except Office have taken it upon themselves to give them a name. I would have thought DECK SHOE might have just about covered it for identification purposes. However, that would apparently be far too pedestian for Office. So in their infinite wisdom they have called them Trent Darby. Trent Darby?? As in Terence? Does this shoe call into mind the soulful beplaited one in any way? No. I didn't think so. I can't imagine he would be that chuffed about it either.

Strait laced

Goodness, just what happens when you are off sick and start watching daytime TV? You start taking fashion tips from This Morning, that's what! I mean, I love Fern as much as the next person (which I think is quite a lot) but really, she is a bit mumsy, isn't she? Not exactly the cutting edge. I've got an undercut, for God's sake!

But they exhibited this little item and I think I quite like it. I am slightly concerned it might make me look like a piece of Delftware though. Plus it is a corset top and that seems a bit trashy. And lastly I think it would look really nice with a denim jacket, and I think we've established that denim and I are not soulmates. So have I cancelled it out?