Flower Power

Right.

I have a lot of bottoms and a dearth of tops. It needs sorting out tout suite because at the moment I am rotating a about three racer back tees and frankly I am bored to tears of tumble-drying-in-a-panic in the mornings before work.

Whaddya think of this? Do we like, or do we think 'Chelsea Flower Show'? (With a peg jean).

(Image via Topshop)

Nude (S)hue

Hello. I am going to attend to both nude shoes at once. Now I am all for them in theory but I know exactly what you mean about matching an accessory to your ACTUAL skin. You do run the risk of 'fiberglass leg'. (A look that can make the wearer look a bit floaty and a bit like the stiff version of Kim Cattral in Mannequin.) Let's take a look at the lovely Megan as an example:

(Image via Fab Sugar)

It's not necessarily a bad thing, and a nude has an amazing ability to make a leg look longer than the wearer might ever had dared dream was possible, but in general you know, I think choosing a nude that is a few shades lighter or darker than you skin tone is the secret.

I also worry that an overly strappy nude can look a little bit like a grubby bandage, but it all depends on what they're teamed with and the level of grooming involved. I like the idea of those heels with the purple frock. Blisters are not cool and I like the addition of a bit of edge to that outfit so I am all for those tiny tiny Aldo heels. Do it!

Well-heeled

I am a person of infinite calm. I am taking deep breaths in and purifying breaths out. I am not in the least annoyed that Aldo just will not allow me to download a reasonable sized image and will only offer these poxy ones even though I want to praise them.

I will not even bat an eyelid that I now feel the need to link directly to their site in order to give you a proper idea of what the shoes look like and so give them further promotion when they give me nothing, rien, nada, zip, etc. It really doesn't matter, I'm absolutely fine!

Is it tedious that I am posting another nude shoe? Directly after the other? The only difference being a little bitty heel? Might I have taken ill, do you think?

Well, anyway, the fact remains... I really enjoyed my purple dress on Saturday. I felt sophisticated and elegant and yet pretty and feminine in the extreme. I loved it! I did not, however love the shoes. I am now blistered. And while a snail's pace for one's own celebrations is to be tolerated I don't really think I can dictate the pace at someone else's wedding. For I am going to one in just over a month. There will be dancing. I need something that is not going to fly off unannounced while I am spinning around the dancefloor and take out a treasured aunt.

What say you to these? With the purple dress.

Skinny Dipping

(Image via Kurt Geiger)

OK, so today might not be a prime example of what I am about to say, but it does rather seem that summer might be here. (I am optimistic, I'm sure it will be back, ideally tomorrow for birthday celebrations.) And summer merits a new shoe. Last year I wore my sandals most days but there were quite a lot of raised eyebrows at work, supposedly on the grounds of health and safety. A stapler could fall on your foot, etc. Would you credit it?

So I am thinking about a nude flat pump this year. This pic is for illustrative purposes only, I haven't actually started the search. But with my floral dresses and bright colours I feel that nude is the only way to go. Otherwise I will start to look a bit insane/be a bit poor if I try to match them. Wouldn't you agree?

I do have a slight concern that I might end up looking like a manequin by matching my shoes to body parts...

Ooh! These could be contenders:

(Image via Office)

Re-inventing the Wheel(er)

Except that we really don't have to because I think she is utterly delightful already.

She is one of those models who doesn't snort coke off the chests of sweaty indie ne'er-do-wells, or throw mobile phones at her assistants' noggins or any number of other unappealing things that models revel in.

In my old age I think that counts for something.

She has also quietly been rocking out some pretty great looks. Generally I think she always looks awesome on the red carpet.

So go Jacquetta, I say!

(Images via Style.com)

Plus she has enviably slim ankles. And as you have pointed out she rocks a sequin. Should I stop gushing now?

Belt Up

God, you know what, I nearly balked when I saw that dress with the inference that you might want to wear it. But I won't be able to see her thighs! I thought. I might not recognise her. For the love of all that is good in the world!!!!!

But then I read on and what with the belt and the hoiking I feel suitably reassured. Phew!

Miss. Stevens, though. Really? If you have a hot bod why with the dress two sizes too big, billowing around entirely untethered? Get a belt on it! Ahorita! And am I alone in being a little disappointed that she is wearing Hennes on the red carpet? Seriously, she must be able to cadge a designer frock. It feels like she is shirking her duties by going high street. Man, we can all do that.

I can't wait to see you in the grey version all strapped in and cowled out, I am sure you will rock it. And definitely no heel? Not even the caged glad??

In other belt related news I have bought this to go with my dress:

(Image via Jigsaw)

Yes! Isn't it?! I rather thought so too!

Glamour Model

(Image via Glamour)

Jaquetta Wheeler was at the Glamour do too. I ADORE her upper portion.

(I am so easily swayed by a sequin aren't I?)

Sclub Innit

You're back. Yesss!! And it's your birthday and all that jazz! So, I was thinking about your party on Saturday. If the sun is shining again I was planning to wear a new frock I picked up post-Florence. Now. Rachel Stevens was wearing it last night at the Glamour Awards. Look! Here she is:

(Image via Glamour)

I have it in a really divine soft grey. I looked DEAD in the shell pink which Miss Stevens does not, so bravo to her. But also not bravo. Because she is sort of murdering this frock. The neck is a delicious little cowl. Why on EARTH she is pulling it over one shoulder like that I don't know. And the waist needs a belt for two reasons. Firstly to cover up the grannyish elasticated element and secondly to hoick it up a good few inches, there's not nearly enough thigh on show there for me. And Rachel has a good thigh, she was whizzing about with that frisky little Italian on Strictly a mere six months ago...in fact she has a good everything, which is even more reason for a belt. I must say though she is doing awfully well to wear a heel with it. I looked ludicrous trying it with anything higher that a flat.

Anyway, that's the frock. So you might see my interpretation of it on Saturday. Fingers crossed it's baking hot again.

In Your Face!

Sheesh! That does not look like fun. Poor Giselle. But I suppose if you are going to have the hottest body on the planet then it is only a matter of time before some pervy meedja type is going to pay you to liberally apply scotch tape and baby oil to your person and pose legs akimbo in some plasticky red heels on the front of a magazine. Isn't it? And who are you to say no?

Particularly when it is the Face! Because honestly I have never loved a magazine more than I did that one. There is a very large pile of them at my folk's house that hold vast significance for me. I feel like it got me through my trying teenage years and made me the girl I am today. Well that, and maybe like a coupla other things...

So the thought that it might be coming back (the rumours of which had not yet reached my ears) excites me beyond all reckoning.

But if you are coming back maybe you could turn down the porniness just a notch. Ta!

A Brasillian?

Jings! That doesn't look entirely comfortable Giselle to be honest. That sticky tape is going to sting something rotten when you come to take it off you know. Who's clever idea was that then? May I hazard a guess that they were male?

HEY THOUGH! I'm not posting Giselle in this adhexive get up for no reason. Have you heard rumors about The Face being relaunched? I hope it is. I loved it.

Now Giselle, my love, close your eyes, think of Brasil and rrrrrrrrrip darling!

Not On My Watch

Gosh, I've always had a fantasy about travelling by steamer with a luxurious trunk full of the very prettiest dresses that gets carried by eager porters with overly oiled hair. But then I realise that I don't live in the thirties. How vexing!

As to your watch, the Chanel one makes me feel thoroughly light headed. It is just heaven, isn't it? And it would look beyond perfect on your tiny little orange, oops, sorry, tanned wrist. Mortgage? Schmortgage! Give the Head the slip and get one for yourself. You deserve it. Because really, the Toywatch one doesn't hold a light to it. Does it?

Although rationally, maybe that isn't a good enough reason to invite penury upon yourself...

Time is Money

I mean literally kidz. I covet this ceramic watch from Chanel. I am convinced that my life would suddenly transform were I to own one. I'd morph in to the kind of gal who spends a month at a time in hot climes, sipping sparkly beverages in the sun whilst watching the light catching prettily off the cresting azure blue waves, surrounded by blossoming bougainvillea and a sea of personalised Luis Vuitton luggage.

But actually what would happen is that I wouldn't be able to pay my half of the mortgage, The Head would have to sit me down for a chat about Handling Personal Finance Responsibly and it would end in tears.

Toywatch are doing a bit of a homage to the J12. I mean! It's ceramic and everything, and a damn sight cheaper I would imagine.

It's just not AS ace though is it?

Hatzzzzzzzzzzz Off

Well, my darling, I have returned, and I am more than happy that the sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hip-hooray, etc. as it does rather soften the blow of the heinous post-holiday blues that have inflicted me.

And even more fortuitously I have just returned from Peru, which is, I was previously unwaware, the centre of hat innovations™. (This might be apochryphal.) I saw some hats out there. Let. Me. Tell. You. !!!

Take a look at these little treats:

I won't even get started on the skirts. Talk about creating curves...

Anyhoo, I disgress. Let's take a look at your little treaticle... Now, first things first, I am 100% on side with Mrs. T and the need for covering up the face. Not in an MJ freakishly shrouding his anklebiters in sheets kind of way, but I am a firm believer that a little shade cast by the brim of a dashing hat will work no end of good in the never ending fight against haggard-dom.

I won't show you the hat I wore to shade my face while I was away as you would probably refuse to take any fashion advice from me ever again. Yours is infinitely more stylish. I think you could carry it off delightfully, as long as you didn't wear it with yesterday's outfit otherwise I would spend all our time distractedly wondering when you were going to whip out a cane and burst into There's no business like show business, like no business I know. Everything about it is appealing... etc. etc. ad infinitum... but otherwise charming. I just maybe wish it wasn't quite so white. You know?

Also, my love, I couldn't possibly sue you for going back on your word about prescription sunnies because I have to make a confession that while I am now wading through my fourth decade I am not yet a responsible adult in any way and have gone global with my ability to leave sunglasses around the countryside wily nily by leaving a pair (indeed, this pair) somewhere in deepest, darkest Peru. Just as well I didn't buy the McQueens, huh?

The sun has got his/her hat on...

...Which is a pleasure isn't it?! But! Does it means that I should have a hat on too? My mother would say YES because she is all for taking precautions when dabbling in a bit of UV. But I'm not so sure.

(Image via Topshop)

I am constantly drawn to these trilbys. I'm not interested in a straw cowboy number. I'm not going to a festival or Ibiza for heaven's sake! I am keen on this one though.

But is it all a bit Richard off of Keeping Up Appearances? (See over Hyacinth's shoulder on right for comparison.)

Uh oh, I'm in trouble

Yeah man! Shampoo! I always thought the really blonde one looked kind of OK you know. The other one, not so much. Anyway though, sooooo, you know I'm always harping on about it being a COMPLETE and UTTER waste of frock funds to shell out for prescription sunnies? Yeah? Well ignore everything I have ever said. I bought these bad boys yesterday.

I am a contrary Mary. So sue me!*

*Don't though will you because they cost quite a bit and so I don't have much money left to cover legal expenses and all that. Just like, punch me on the arm for telling you not to buy these or something, yeah? OK!