Gee up!

It is called a saddle bag. It is from Russell & Bromley. It is tan coloured, wrought out of the most delicious buttery soft leather. Swoon! The shape is great, I do really love it. But there are a couple of issues, one being that tan probably isn't the perfect colour for my current wardrobe. You know, with all the colour and all.

I popped out at lunch just to have a look. I didn't mean to come away with a bag. I meant to look around a bit more. I don't really know what happened. It just spoke to me. Like a siren. It was awfully persuasive.


But I have to have a new bag. My purple one (which I love almost more than life itself) is going to damage me. It is so mammoth and I am hefting around so much that it is only a matter of time before I put my back out. And that would not be cool.

There is no picture to be had of it. I think I need to show it to you in the flesh. You can help me decide if it should go back or not. I find myself a bit torn...

Some time later... Dilemma over - I took it bag. Oop! Freudian slip! I took it BACK...!

Note to self: Let's not do that again, huh?

Oh! You Birk(in)

(Image via Style Hive)

BAD GIRL! WHAT DID YOU BUY?

Oops!

I, LUCINDA VICTORIA KERR, MUST NOT IMPULSE BUY EXPENSIVE HANDBAGS IN MY LUNCH HOUR.

I, LUCINDA VICTORIA KERR, MUST NOT IMPULSE BUY EXPENSIVE HANDBAGS IN MY LUNCH HOUR.

I, LUCINDA VICTORIA KERR, MUST NOT IMPULSE BUY EXPENSIVE HANDBAGS IN MY LUNCH HOUR.

You Stud!

(Image via Mr Pop Life)

I love Brigitte. She's so...BIG. I admit to watching Celebrity Rehab just because she was in it (Dr Drew is so WISE! And Brigitte really rocked rehab chic.)

As for the top, you know what? If the pic of Brigitte you had chosen wasn't almost the EXACT same shade as that knit I might have said go for it. But now, I'm not so sure. And on a practical note, wouldn't a shoulder bag + those studs = potential snagging issues. I worry about these things since the demise of your lovely mac. We both need to be on our guard because I don't want for us to go through that sadness again. You hear?

Well 'Ard

(Image via Topshop)

Is this top cute and quirky or is it a bit Brigitte Nielsen in Red Sonja, you know, with all the hardware and everything?

'Coz I don't think I could wear that headband...

Wats(on) The Problem with Emma?

(Image via Friendster)

I concur Kerr! I think she's extremely cute. Opinion is divided though isn't it? Elle and I have been discussing her and she isn't in the slightest convinced of her stylista status. But, I think for a TEEN she is quite exceptional. I wish I had been half as savvy at that age, it would spare me from shuddering when looking back at photos and wondering how and why my love affair with stretch items from Morgan had lasted so long. I mean, yeah, I don't doubt it would have helped to have had designers like Kaiser Karl flinging couture my way but you know what I mean.

I think she looks aces in the the Burberry campaign, but what I like the most is she actually LOOKS like a 19 year old, she isn't perma tanned* boob jobbed and bleached or desperately (trying to be) avant garde and falling out of Bungalow 8 with Peaches et al. She's just a very pretty girl who looks fabulous and stylish and is making a mint. Bravo that girl.

Up And At 'Em(ma)

(Images via Fashion Copious)

I for one have been more than excited about young Miss Watson's progress from a fluffy haired, over-enunciating child actor to a glamourous Chanel-rocking girl about town. She is admirably adventurous about what she wears but always looks terrifically pretty.

(Images via Go Fug Yourself)

And now this! While I'm not wild about Burberry I am wild about their advertising. I nearly combusted every time I walked past their shop on my way to work when they had Rosie Huntington-Whitely and Sam Riley in their windows. Sigh!

Look how she works the smoky eye, the Bardo-esque hair and the sultry look! Go to it, lady!

I am really, really into it. Miss Keddie, however, is not a fan. What are your thoughts, or are you merely indifferent to her charms?

Rolling Stones, Gathering and What Not...

Woah! We've turned a corner so soon. I love this stuff. Deeeevine. Isn't it a shame we're not like, LOADED? Damn it. I think we'd be MEGA at being rich beyond our wildest, don't you Kerr?

(Image via Hafsteinn Juliusson)

Look at this though. It a knuckle duster made from Icelandic moss. The wearer needs to water and trim it. For reals? Wow! That's...hmm...ecologically sound.

Good as Gold

Wow! I have found a purveyor of jewellery and frivolous gorgeousness that appears to have been made for me. You know, slightly over the top and gaudy but oh so pretty.

Sadly the price tag is a little over the top too. Drats!

(Images via Dannijo)

Oh!

You know how sometimes we are completely in sync and it's all C.O.N.C. rosiness? Those days are just great aren't they? Well sweet cheeks, let's hope we have another of those soon because today is not one of them.

Now, you know my thoughts on an overly stonewashed denim because flick back through your brain's rolodex and you'll recall me wearing one last summer. I've been dragging it out year after year, just praying that it will becoming vaguely fashionable again before I erach the age where a girl has to make the choice of face or arse... I select face and then balloon to twice my size by filling myself with crisps and fizzy drinks to plump out the wrinkles and can no longer struggle in to it. I love it now and I have always loved it. I know you do not because you pointed and laughed the first time you saw me in it, but it does me favours complexion wise and for that reason alone it remains a wardrobe staple come summer. I shan't be BUYING any snow wash items this season though. Heavens above, a girl only needs one denim albatross to deal with in a lifetime, but you know, I am Not Opposed.

What I AM opposed to is Beyonce of Knowles being heralded as an arbiter of taste. I suspect all that has happened is that Tina Knowles is really busy strapping Solange into more feathered items so Beyonce has hired a new stylist who you know, HAS A CLUE. Because she looks lovely and all that, but I'm not convinced. I just look at the clothes and think 'Ohh nice Balmain Beyonce', I don't look at her WEARING the clothes...do you get me? I'm just waiting for Tina to get back in the driving seat and she'll be all Jane Norman does Bridal again...

And as for Chloe, I mean look, I adore her. She has some of the best God damn leglets in town and I love that she whips them out left right and centre. But I had that very same image ready to post along with a comment along the lines of 'THANK GOD YOU DIDN'T GET A HAT LIKE THAT, LOOK WHAT IT DOES TO POOR CHLOE.' Yikes!

AND you know that top that you didn't like? Well I almost feel like whispering it, but I bought it. Don't worry I won't wear it with the stonewash jacket. I value our friendship.

Let There B Light

Beyonce has never struck me as a girl who really knows fashion. A big, god-damned divalicious red carpet ordeal of a dress, yes. OH YES! But anything else I felt was a little out of her reach.

I stand corrected.

Going Loco, Down in Acapulco

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)

Man, I really love the crazies. I can't help myself. I just go gooey in the middle with affection for those who like to push the fashion boat way out. I don't even care when they get it wrong, I just appreciate that they are giving it a go.

You, I suspect, also enjoy it, but only when they still manage to still look pretty, like Mary-Kate. I, however, like a full on freak show.

And that's why I like Chloe Sevigny. She is a lady who isn't afraid to look ugly. Sometimes she gets it way wrong. Sometimes she gets it right and still manages to look avant garde. I think this is such a time.

Continuing on my legs obsession, I would just like to say LOOK AT THOSE GAMS!!!! Yowza! Them's the real deal.

I love the shape of what she's wearing, the shorts are to die for and really work well with the slouchy jacket, and the colour is so pretty and soft. And look! What's that? A Mary Poppins hat that she is comprehensively rocking? Well, waddaya know? You'll hate it, I bet!

Pure As the Driven Snow

(Image via Oasis)

Snow-washed denim?? What, because stone-washed denim wasn't heinous and eye searingly ugly enough?

Why! Thanks!

River Deep, Mountain High

If there is one thing that can be said for trekking through the snow-capped peaks of the Andes then it is that the increased definition in a girl's legs can work wonders for her confidence.

Of course, it is not possible to say just one thing but I think the picture speaks for itself. And yes, Mrs. Rowan, I will soon quiet down about my trip, I promise.

I will not quiet down about the legs though. I wore a mini dress yesterday and onlookers (mostly male, it has to be said) were nearly falling at my feet in their eagerness to get an eyeful. It never ceases to amaze me how men can be absolutely captivated by a pair of pins. Even through 50 denier.

On my way home yesterday I accidentally managed to acquire three new minis, which I would love to share with you here but they are from River Island, who won't let me download pics, so you will just have to take my word on how simply ripping they are. Until I see you, and then you will know!

The mini, and more specifically the tulip mini, is my new obsession. Quite how I will feel when the weather warms up and I have to lose the opaques we will see as and when. But at the moment I am as happy as a clam!

(Images via Asos)

I'm Not In Love

I'm not in love, so don't forget it

It's just a silly phase I'm going through

And just because I call you up

Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

I'm not in love, no-no

I like to see you, but then again

That doesn't mean you mean that much to me

So if I call you, don't make a fuss

Don't tell your friends about the two of us

I'm not in love, no-no

I keep your picture upon the wall

It hides a nasty stain that's lyin' there

So don't you ask me to give it back

I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me

I'm not in love, no-no

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me

Ooh, you'll wait a long time

Ooh, you'll wait a long time for me

Ooh, you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love, so don't forget it

It's just a silly phase I'm going through

And just because I call you up

Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made, ooh

I'm not in love, I'm not in love...

That boy has clearly got it bad, who's he kidding? But thanks 10cc for illustrating my point, because that top is not giving me the loving feelings. Oh, no. Not one bit of it. It doesn't make me feel weak at the knees, light headed, giddy and joyful. I wouldn't blush and play with my hair every time it entered the room. I wouldn't hope it would accidentally brush up against me in the corridor and then swear blind that it meant something.

I just don't love it. Not even a vague crush. The shape just isn't cute. It is so shapeless and unappealing. Why is the hem so high at the front? And the pattern is a bit bleurgh too. It is too muddled and busy. And definitely too Chelsea, except actually its ruder and louder younger sibling because Chelsea is too good for that kind of thing.

So I empathise with your lack of toppage, but please carry on looking coz that one just ain't cute. Look darlin', don't be sad, there are plenty more good ones out there, you don't need to lower your standards, something else will come along... you'll see.