The Long and the Short of it

I have been living out of a suitcase for over three weeks. Which while I'm travelling is a breeze. But while a girl is in the metropolis, the beating heart of this great country of ours, you know, er, London? Well, it's just not on.

And in fact I fear my very sanity might be at risk. So yesterday, like a desperate harridan I scoured the streets looking for something I could buy and wear. Something new, something fabulous. But could I find it? Could I heck.

Then I was caught in the grips of that shopping obsession that occurs to those with even the most stolid and logical disposition. When the shops are nearly closing and a hysteria descends that dictates that come what may we must take something home. We must have something new. IT IS OUR GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO SPEND OUR MONEY! And I got a crazed glint in my eye and I started pulling things wantonly from the shelves.

But fortunately even in this frenzied state I draw the line at buying something totally inappropriate. And the only thing I even vaguely liked was this skirt.


(Via Zara)

But it was not to be because it only comes in XS, S and M. Because Ls don't deserve nice clothes. And conversely Zara doesn't deserve an L's hard earned cash. So I will now be looking for another formal, long skirt emporium that does. Let me know if you see anything anywhere.

Don't Lose Your Shirt

Am I alone in hating to see a man without his shirt on in an urban environment? At the beach? Fine. But in the city? Eeeugghh!

I don't want to see that much of you. I don't know you.

Even if you have a beautiful body.

Like if you are a runner. And you are running. With your shirt off. I don't need that in my life. I think I might be alone in this though, as when I made my opinion known while on Clapham Common I was quickly silenced as everyone strained to get a look at the half naked runner who had prompted my remarks, with one particularly excitable lady yelling "you're hot!" as he sped passed blisfully unaware (or aware).

I wonder if I am becoming old fashioned and fusty, like when I realise I am the only person who writes my appointments in an actually physical diary made of paper and who thinks that eating in the street is disgusting.

If the Devil Should Cast His Net

(Via Net a Porter)

God damn Net a Porter! Why do they have to have so many lovely things, all in one place?

Why did I have to see this divine RM by Roland Mouret dress and fall so comprehensively in love with it that any other dress that I might look at will come a very, very distant second to it in my heart?

!&*@!£*@£! Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!

I Kid You Not

(Via River Island)

I am rather enamoured of this sweater. Generally speaking this season I am quite in favour of a sweater rather than just a cardigan as I have sported in previous winters. This one has very tiny little pom poms on it. Eeeensy weensy ones. But I am also of the opinion that a grown woman should not exhibit a pom pom about her person. It just makes you look insane. Like a fifty year old woman in a babydoll. It's just a bit gross and icky and, indeed, morally dubious. But a teeny, tiny pom pom or a hundred? Can I manage to justify that to myself? And is it even worth it?

Way to Zoe

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

You're a fan of Rachel Zoe's aren't you? To be honest I know very little about her, and what I do know hasn't encouraged me to learn more really. Very thin, very tanned, very bed head bedecked, very boho. Famous for making more famous thin people look equally tanned and boho. Yada, yada, yada. I'm so utterly exhausted of a patterned maxi dress I could... (yawn) actually, I'm not sure I have the energy.

But this outfit? With the severe black and the pouffy sleeve and pronounced waist and enormous hooves and scraped back hair? Well, that's a girl I could get interested in.

Ruffle a Few Feathers

I have a wedding dilemma. Just been invited. Only know one person. Dress code apparently smart/casual. Aaarrrggghhh! What to wear?

Don't want to go too posh or too dressed down. Not too sure...

Was kind of thinking about wearing cigarette pants with my one shouldered Lanvin-esque leopard print top. But then I saw this


(Via River Island)

and thought with a black vest top and cardigan, black tights and very high heels. Then maybe the gold and black hard clutch from Reiss that I have and some other gold jewellery. Or maybe black jewellery. Or is that too dour?

What other options? I want for the person I am going with to find me devastatingly attractive but then not put anyone's back up.

Gordon Bennett!

LK Bennett have some really lovely shoes in their autumn/winter collection.



Interesting shapes and beautiful jewel colours.







I particularly like these. They would satisfy my point craving, and I love the little strap. But which pair to buy?



Leopard print?



Classic black?


(Via LK Bennett)

Or red patent leopard print?

OK, Just One More, I Promise...!

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

I couldn't be pithy about this one, and it isn't cut-and-dried. So if you will excuse me just one more.

I think Christina Hendricks often struggles to look good, less because of that unruly and delicious body of hers, more because she seems to have got it into her head that a body like that can only be clothed in vintage styles. Because in the 21st Century no one actually has a body like that, clearly, so perish the thought she doesn't look like she just fell out of a 1950s film noir.

But this dress? Well... It nearly gets it. The colour is heavenly. It suits her, it's very pretty, it's soft but not wishy washy.

The fundamental shape is lovely and works with her figure. It reminds me a lot of My Favourite Oscar Dress (Ever), that worn by Michelle Williams.



But I think it falls down where it deviates from that dress. The detail on the bodice is flattering and interesting, and surely enough detail to stop it from being boring. But then there is way too much sleeve going on. And the feathers? I loathe them. They look like a growth, or like some sub aquatic parasite. They have no place on a dress. And I think there is far too much weight and fabric in the skirt. I feel she would have almost no choice but to lumber inelegantly carting that much skirt around.

And again this has a vintage feel, but somehow more like a brothel madam in a western played by Mae West.





Which, by all accounts, should make me hate it. But (with the exception of the feathers which are just hideous and unjustifiable) I think it is pretty and suits her.

What are your thoughts, lovely readers? Can a dress with so much wrong actually come out right?

Best in Show

Undoutedly it is very tedious to talk about Emmy dresses as half of the blogosphere is almost certainly up to the same antics. So I will be brief and to the point about what I love.



Jane Krakowski rocked the navy, draped, super feminine look.



The shade of Emily Blunt's dress is so very pretty, and loving the jewels.


(Via Go Fug Yourself)

Elisabeth Moss looks so lovely, the dress suits her to a T.

Oh, and they are all one-shouldered and drapy. This is obviously something that appeals to me. Well, played ladies, well played!

Make No Jones About It

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

How utterly delicious is this dress?

It's like armour! Like thousands of enormous titanium sequins welded together to create this glorious, pointy-breasted warrior gown. I imagine that when she walks it sounds like wind blowing through a forest where hundreds of peasants are being decapitated by the sharpest Samurai swords and that it causes fearless fighters to fall helplessly at her feet as she sweeps by.

A Walk in the Park(a)

(Via Topshop)

I bought a parka last week. I am walking to work and I figure it will be terribly practical.



But I don't want it to look practical. I want to throw it over lovely floral dresses and accessorise it with lashings of red lipstick.



In a kind of Edge of Love manner.



That will be cute, right?

It's a Sign!

You know how I mentioned heeled hiking boots? In a post called "Take a Hike"? (Razor wit, innit?) You know, below? Well, you'll never guess what happened.



I only went and blummin bought a pair from Russell & Bromley that are called Take a Hike! What are the chances?! It was destiny. They were meant to be mine.



At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it...

Take a Hike

One or two people have questioned me recently how I can reconcile the part of me that is obsessed with fashion, and this beloved (by me at least) blog, and my high standards of fashion judgement with the part of me that likes to hike in the mountains, totally happy not washing my hair for three weeks and wearing only technical fabrics.

And to be honest, I have no response. The heart wants what the heart wants and even while a mountain climbing fashion maven might be oxymoronic, that is just the way it is and the way it will stay.

Up until this point my two great loves have remained distinct, occuring only one or other at a time. (As I mentioned, technical fabrics. And while I love them, I would not suggest that they have too much to do with style. I try my best, but really there is only so much I can do.) But then the high heeled hiking boot happened.

When I first saw them I sneered the way only someone who wears actual hiking boots could. How dare someone try and combine hiking and fashion, it just isn't done. Who do they think they are kidding? Etc. But I have seen a few pairs and I really want them. Not sure what I would wear them with, but I think they might have to be mine. Am I utterly deluded? Should the two be kept apart? Should hiking boots only be flat and heeled boots not go hiking?

Flatter to Deceive

(Via River Island)

A concept these trousers have failed to cotton on to. I give you their description:

Navy high waist slim fit pleat trouser

That is all.

When Bad Men Combine

Or, rather, when men combine badly...

I am aware that I have a lot of pet hates, to those who don't know me I must seem like a terribly angry person. And, well, they might be right. But that doesn't make my judgements any less valid. There are just a lot of bad things in the world that deserve my wrath.

Like a man wearing jeans and smart leather shoes. This has been a pet hate of mine for as long as I can remember. Men out at night with jeans, short sleeved shirts and leather dress shoes. And in recent years in the corporate environment it seems to be a favourite look for dress down Fridays. It's smart! No, it's casual! No, it's smart. Etc., etc.

But then I saw this picture:


(Via Go Fug Yourself)

And while this should make my breakfast feel uncertain in my stomach, I actually adore it. Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger have to be my favourite sleb couple, particularly sartorially speaking. He looks amazing, and the thing I like the best is the jeans/shoes combo. It rocks.

Then I saw this picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt



and I liked the cut of his jib.

So maybe a girl can change. Maybe a girl can have slightly less hate in her heart.

Maybe a girl could forgive a pair of strangler's leather gloves if combined with a nicely fitted jean and a pair of leather chaussures.



Well, maybe not.