Knit Picking

Dude, you could fly to Norway and pick something up from there for less. Asos: SORT IT OUT! It is adorable, though.

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(Images via Asos)

I wouldn't know babes. Ann Twynham didn't like The Cat in the Hat so I was never exposed to it. Him. She preferred me to watch Cosmo and Dibs and Pigeon Street instead. (She also fed me tomato sauce and jam sandwiches throughout my childhood though so perhaps her judgement was questionable. It's a wonder I don't have rickets for God's sake.)

I like that skirt. I really like it to say it's basically a stripy bit of jersey. I like that model though too. I often fall for something on Asos that bit harder if it's on her. (Please see above, which I think may technically be heinous, but I like in theory. Oh actually you can't really see it very well in that picture but it's sort of loopified.)

I also dearly love this cardigan. It is stupidly priced though. It's almost £200. From ASOS. Are you kidding me?

Skirting the Issue

(Image via Asos)

I love this skirt. But would I look like the intrepid heroine from a Dr. Seuss book in it?

Coco The Clown

Oh I see, so it's out in the cinemas for the general viewing public now is it? I'd like to see it, but of course I won't. I'll wait to have a barny in Blockbuster about hiring it with The Head in about six month's time. (I'll be allowed as long as we take home something with Will Ferrel in it and we get a monster bag of Revels to 'share'.)

I think quite a lot of the girls in then office must have seen it because there is a high volume of pearl going on here at the moment too. Now, usually a bastion of all that is chic and stylish, this picture of Coco never fails to makes me laugh. If you're going to be channeling darling, make sure it's the early days hey? If I see you marching down the mall like this one day soon please expect me to have a word with you.

The Cocomotion

I am furiously channeling Coco today. Or should that be Chaneling...? I bought a similar tweed faux Chanel jacket to this from M&S yesterday and am wearing strings of pearls and a snarl (to prevent me from looking too ladies what lunch). I LOVE IT!

Do you think I am taking the inspiration too far?

Pearls of Wisdom

I went to see Coco Before Chanel the other day with my friend Kate. (Who did not buy the heels by the by. Her reason being that she did not have anything to go with them. My thinking would have been more along the lines of "Yay! Now I have to buy a whole new outfit/selection of outfits to go with my delectable and utterly impractical new shoes." But that is just me and these are hard times, so I will let it go...)

Anyway, the film was delightful. And with the exception of an incident with a bag of popcorn that incurred the wrath of a terribly po faced employee and an inopportune nose blow (or trumpet, more accurately) that caused me to shake in my seat with barely concealed mirth for about five minutes, I really enjoyed myself.

And strangely now I find that all I want to do is wear row upon row of pearls and have a cigarette permanently dangling out of the corner of my mouth while wearing black and being terribly French and saying this like "As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!"

You don't think I will seem excessively affected, do you?

Hell For Leather

What is your take on the leather trend? I have been rather charmed by quite a few of the butter soft leather unstructured jackets like this one. But I don't really know how I would wear it.

(Images via Warehouse)

But then something unexpected happened when I saw an equally buttery skirt and was enchanted by it. It wasn't this one. Unfortunately I can't remember where I saw it. I have always felt that a leather skirt smacked a little of hair metal groupies, you know? And that's not cool. But the one I saw was slightly longer and draped and just delicious. I just have to track the damn thing down now.

(Image via Oasis)

The dress might well be going too far. For God's sake there is no one in it and it has a paunch. Possibly not for me then... It is pretty amazing how something made of leather (which is always a bit naughty) can be so prudish and buttoned up. Wouldn't you agree?

(Image via Asos)

And now on to the thing that will probably shock you the most. I think the tight (p)leather trouser might be the new wet look legging (you know, when they were still actually desirable). And actually I think they are pretty cool. They are not for me (as much as I might want them to be) but with your demure little thighs and your totally rockin' style I imagine they might look quite simply delightful.

(Images via Glamour)

And just for good measure here's a sleb looking loverly in leather. That would be the look that I would want to go for. Leather but restrained, you know? Well done Courtney!

PS. Here is some further evidence... pretty conclusive, I think you will agree.

Once Bitten Twice Shy

Wow honey, don't DIE! Usually I have a real issue with Drew Barrymore. Mostly because I find her voice so unutterably tiresome I'm not able to get through one of her films to decide if I think she's a good actress or not. The one time I did warm to her was when she did those uber trash Guess ads. I loved those. She was all like, blue and shizz. Brilliant!

But I digress, I'm not here to chat about 90's bosomy ads. What I was going to comment on is how Drew is standing. WHY DO SLEBS KEEP STANDING LIKE BASHFUL INFANTS? It baffles me. Paris Hilton is always at it. Look!

Here

And here

And here

(Images via Zimbio)

And let me tell you there's HEAPS more where they came from. (I covet the sequins in the last image. Actually COVET.) And then I was watching Project Runway on Sundays and I realised that Heidi Klum is at it in the opening credits and when she's actually runway based and chit chatting to the designers. It's so weird. And uncomfortable looking. Isn't it though?

Less is (Barry) More

(Image via Glamour)

Holy makerel! How insanely great does Drew Barrymoore look? Aaarrrrrggghhh!!! I love this outfit so much I could almost die. And the hair and her adorable face? Wow! Love. It!

Keep Away From Fire

Do you know who this lady is Kerr? This is Aisleyne from Big Brother 4. I think. Perhaps 5. Who cares, I don't want to get myself engulfed in the muddy water of detail. I bring her up because her catch phrase was 'know yourself'...which she kind of spat out gangster style whilst flicking her weave about. Obviously, I ADORE her. I can't help myself, I'm like a moth to a flame!

I think she would approve of me because I know myself. More to the point I know that this shoulder trend is not going to be great for me. My shoulders are too square already for this. The extra padding would lift those shoulders to comedic heights and I must avoid them at all costs I think. I will leave them to you, because it is a look I certainly enjoy.

I am going to embrace some sequins as day wear. I am especially keen on a nude sequin, but none of the high street shops want to sell me the item I have fashioned in my mind's eye, so I am going to just have to keep hunting. So that will be good won't it? We can have a trend each!

And now back to Aisleyne. She has a clothing range. I did not know this!

(Image via Unique by Aisleyene)

Can you see why I love her? Look at the colour of her! She looks as though she's been bathing St Tropez. Swooooon! The dress she is modelling is called 'Milky'. I find that weird so I'm just going to ignore it. It you should ever need some flimsy outfit in a man made fibre head over to Aisleyne's on line shop. It looks as though all the images have been shot in a car park, but don't let that detract from the glamma. Innit!

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

(Image via Topshop)

The large shoulder thing seems to have been knocking about for ages in magazines. I almost thought it was a catwalk only trend and that it would be totally passe by the time it finally found its way to the shops. But you know what? I have fallen for it hook line and sinker. I bought three tops this weekend including this one above and all three have super exaggerated shoulders. I am utterly obsessed. Honestly darling, the shoulder pad is my new best friend. In fact I have taken to walking around the racks fondling shoulders and if they aren't padded, I'm not interested. Do I have a problem?

Specialist Subject

Ha! You know what? These ones are the boot embodiment of the day that some friends and I sellotaped another friend inside a phone box. Hoooo! How we laughed. (We lived in a tiny village, there wasn't much to do, what can I say? Don't judge me.) Anyway they make me feel a bit claustrophobic. I don't like them. They look as though a lightweight summer duvet has been wound round the model's leglets and secured with duct tape. In fact, do you have any idea how many colours you can buy that stuff in? There is a rainbow of duct tape available to us, the general public.

WOAH! I think I might be hearing from IT. I had no idea what a lot of 'specialist' websites there are about people who like to fashion outfits out of pretty coloured duct tapes. One innocent click and my computer went in to lock down and I expected alarms to sound. Honestly. So perhaps those Rodarte bad boys are more fetish than phone box. Search for yourself at your peril. (Google images has a LOT to answer for.)

I'm OK with an over the knee boot is it's flat and leather. Never suede. That is just too principal boy.

This is Lucy Vestris, the first Principal Boy EVER! (My gift to you fact fans!)

Over-The-Knee Jerk Reaction

Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Not exactly a trend setter, you might think. Or not one that should ever be adhered to. And yet for the coming season it seems that me might be rocking her look. Or part of it at least.

Because yes, I think I might have found that incredibly difficult item that even though rationally I know I should avoid I want it so bad it is bringing me out in a rash.

The over-the-knee boot.


I know. I didn't see it coming either.

And yet here I find myself lusting after them terribly. And having conquered the skinny jean (although that might have been a brief triumph if I don't hot foot it to the gym pronto) I feel that I am ready to take on other clothing reprobates.

But is it a challenge too far? Look how delightful Miss Rachel Weisz looks in hers. Although with those pins and that withering glare who would doubt her? I'm not sure I would necessarily be able to stand up to questioning quite so admirably.

I wouldn't want to go the route that many of the designers have gone. Is it a boot or is it plegging with a shoe welded on? (A pleather legging, if you were in any doubt. Honestly with these skills I should work for Grazia.) Or has the model been hosed down with liquid latex? And deary me, just how high do they go? Are they an invitation to a nasty bout of thrush? No. Thank. You.

But a flat pair that comes just over the knee...? Couldn't they be scrumptious? Couldn't they be just the very thing? With a mini? And layer upon layer of knitwear?

Gosh, I'm dreaming of winter already! Can't wait!

In part I think I have just been lured in as they have merely been repackaged. No longer the thigh high boot, which really does scream Sunset Strip of an evening, or pantomime principal boy (well slap my thigh!) it is now the over-the-knee boot, which is far more palatable. Don't you agree?

(Catwalk images via Style.com)

And just in case you were in any way inclined to disagree with me I present my last piece of evidence: two of your favourite girls (in the same pair, at the same event, interestingly). Are you convinced now?

Oh, go on...! Pretty please!

Good on Paper

In continuation of the theme of things that are overly priced, this necklace costs as much as my rent for a month and a half.


I’ll take the bricks and mortar and the roof over my head, thanks awfully.

But I do think it is terribly pretty!

Like a Christmas paper chain to decorate your neck with. How festive! Plus it comes in a variety of charming colours and flavours.

They are so whimsical and charming that they almost make me forgive the fact that these monstrosities were also in the Louis Vuitton collection.

(Images via style.com)

Mr. Jacobs, that is a black mark against your name.

Amuse Boots

(Image via Fashion Flash)

Hahahahahha! Every time I look at this picture it makes me laugh.

That is all I have to say today.