I. Die.

I have a cold. My throat is itchy and scratchy and sore. I am hot I am cold, I'm yes then I'm no...I am a Katy Perry song? No! Not that, anything but that.

I sat watching back to back Rachel Zoe Project whilst snuffling away and feeling sorry for myself yesterday. Have you seen it? I swear down, it's the best God damn thing on the telly. I. Am. Addicted.  I also     keep pausing                     massively                   in                    my                   sentences and want to stalk about the place in vertiginous metallic heels, dripping in furs and gold and carrying a starbucks cup that is almost as big as me.  Her hair man!  She is the Queen of height at the crown! 

The Head kept watching it over my shoulder. I was explaining her catchphrases to him, and now he keeps walking around the house, dropping a hip and declaring 'I. DIE!' every time he likes something. When I stop feeling like I might actually die I'm sure I'll find it the most adorable, hilarious thing            like          everrrr.

I'm With The Band

I really liked that too! Damn. What a shame it's not so good on. Anything vaguely military in style immediately makes me think of Pete Doherty and his dirty fingernails*. Which is Not Cute.

* I merely suspect that his fingernails would be dirty. I have no proof.

As Mad as a March Hare

(Image via Handbag.com)

I really love this jacket. It is from Jaeger which has been having something of a revival recently. But when I tried it on (admittedly in a larger size than I would have wanted) I looked like I was a member of a deranged marching band.

Probably the French Horn player, you know what they're like.

The Road Lezark Travelled

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)

I think I might have found my new favourite crazy fashion crush. Seriously, what the bejeesus is she wearing?! I don't love the outfit but I think I might love her.

Free and Uneasy

Lordy, do you want to know what I've gone and done? I got up bright and early this morning to hot foot it to the gym wearing my gym clothes. Worked out like a demon. All well and good. But upon opening my gym bag to put on my regular, every day, sweat free clothes I found a gaping chasm where my bra should be. As we might have mentioned before I have been overly blessed in the bosom department. So have had to spend the morning spectacularly unsupported.

I don't know what those ladies were up to burning their brassieres in the 60s. I personally am lost without my upper topper flopper stopper. So this lunch time I will be racing off to good old Rigby & Peller to get myself rehoused. And I can't wait. It is not right, not right at all.

Utter Madness!

I have no thoughts darling. Not a one. I don't really know what Mad Men is, other than that it's a show on the telly. My telly viewing is limited to What Katie Did Next, Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two and The One Show (I LOVE it. I don't know why exactly. It is like the TV equivalent of an eccentric old maiden aunt. All over the place but still chaste. But I love Adrian Chiles' sourpuss face and dour delivery and eye rolling as he introduces items such as 'the history of the bath.' (Serious, that was an item earlier this week. What's not to love?)

I'll tell what I don't love, and that's Madness. Gah! Can't stand them. But I was stuck for an image and it was them or Whigfield and she seemed a bit of a tenuous link even for me.

I do think your bosoms will look ASTOUNDING in that kind of get up though. God. It's just GREAT when fancy dress works for you isn't it? Please take me wig shopping! I've always wanted to know what I look like blonde (in my mind's eye, like Wendy James...in real life, Wendy Richards.

Stir it Up

Stirrup pants. Not the most desirable thing? Not something for the fashion savvy amongst us? Should have been left back in the eighties with shoulder pads and conspicuous consumption?

Then should I be fired from CONC for even thinking about them?



I saw a pair. They might have been jeggings. Or treggings. Or some such nonsense. They were with knee high boots. And they looked AWESOME. I kid you not. No unsightly bulging or anything. Obviously no one else would know. But I would know, and I'm not entirely sure I could live with that.

What do you think, oh wise one?

Mad as a Hatter

I have been invited to a Mad Men party. I am beyond excited about what I am going to wear. Any thoughts? Needless to say I will be modelling myself on the one in the middle. I might have to buy a wig. And a hat...

Silence is Golden

Do you know what? I am going to take your mama's advice and keep schtum.

Keeping (Literally) Up With the Jones'

(Image via The Daily Mail)

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LIZ!  STOP IT.  STOP IT NOW!

You know me.  I'm ALL FOR a bit of height at the crown but there are limits.

Stocking Trade

The coloured tight is something that I think is oh-so-wrong, but there are girls who really really rock it. And that is some feat. When it first started happening out there, you know, on the streets, I felt it was all a bit tragic/childish. And while many go to far and coordinate up the wazoo, which is best avoided in my mind, others hit the spot and it can be a subtle and cool look.

As I was reading the post I was thinking purple tight, so I'm glad you said that. And that dress is far too cute to be left until your little leglets can be set free again in the spring. So go to it young lady.

I don't think I'll try it though. Is that ok?

Hang Tight

Where do we stand on a bright tight?  I would really like to pull out the Rachel Steven's (But Done

Better) for autmun, but I think because it's grey it needs an opaque with a hue to make it work. Black would just look too dour and I would like to wear it with my gold dancing shoes.  Perhaps purple-y shade would work?

Will I look like a clown and/or a childen's TV presenter in them though?  It just doesn't seem right somehow.

Maid Up

(Image via 1st Class Invitation Inspiration)

Dear God! Who's idea was this? Novelty, kooky, spontaneous wedding pictures are surely never a good idea. The lady behind the bride looks particularly hesitant with one foot just barely off the floor. Although I would probably rather be her than the girl on the bride's left. She was probably captain of the school hockey team. It was probably her idea. She looks like she's been practising.

Plus more proof (as if it were needed) that matching bridesmaid dresses are just hid. So well done her for choosing a more discerning option. Will you all have to wear the same colour? Or just something that goes with what she is wearing?

I like the first dress, although it reminds me somewhat of this which I didn't love so much. But it is much, much cuter. And I love the thought of you getting your stems out.

As to the others... honey, you've had your own special day, maybe you shouldn't try to be the main event, huh? Or try to blind people if a stray sun beam strikes you. Just a thought.

Drawing a Veil Over It

(Image via Apartment #34)

I met with my favourite Bride To Be and her sister last night and she whipped out her Wedding Book. I love The Wedding Book! It is full of loveliness for us to coo over. We were chatting about bridesmaid dresses. E is a very kind bride and wants us to all look lovely and to feel happy in our frocks, so she isn't pouring us all in to the same style so we can all tramp along the aisle behind her in a vision of matchy matchyness. No! We're going to have different styles and shades with some sort of LINK to her dress (which is deeeeeeeeevine and hanging up in my wardrobe right now - a fact that gives me a pang of anxiety when I open the doors every morning and try and make sure that nothing else is touching it, I don't BREATHE near it etc etc) like a brooch or hairclip or something. I am so glad she is her!

I was thinking that I'd like a floor length number. You know, for the glamma innit! But then I saw this and I'm thinking I might get my legs out now.  I looooove this.  I would spend the whole day holding the skirt bit outwards like a proud four year old or twirling and twirling round, but you know, that's nothing new.

(Image via Apartment #34)

Then again.  There's always THIS.

(Image via Style.com)

Ot THIS!

(Image via Vogue Italia)

What? Too much?  You think?

I've Got a Crush on You

Geez Louise! She is heavenly! I think I might have to join you in your crush. She really does have the greatest hair I have potentially ever seen. Do you think I could get it for Christmas if I'm a very good girl? No? You don't? Oh.