Men of London! Britain! THE WORLD! I know the sun is shining. I know it is getting (a little) warmer. I know you feel as though you have earned the right to let your pallid, hairy calves feel the wind whistling around them and the sun beating lovingly down on them. I know these things. But this is not the way. It doesn't have to be like this. A (quite possibly combat print) cargo short is not your only option. And in fact it really isn't an option at all. If you want to feel the loving touch of a woman ever again. Particularly if you wear them with trainers and itty bitty trainer socks. For God's sake, men, take a look at yourselves!
And women! Don't stand for this. Let the men in your life know that we are strong. That we will fight. That we will not let them assault our eyes with this sartorial filth. That enough is enough.
But all is not lost. The season is in its youth. If we act fast and decisively we can beat this down, eradicate it before it really takes hold. We can WIN!
Please sign my petition to support a cargo shorts free world.
Together we can make this happen!
WHAT DO WE WANT?
DEATH TO CARGO SHORTS!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
NOW!
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