The Lowe Down

Has she been at Pearl Lowe's lace curtains? 

(Image via Moodboard)

Even if she has, I don't hate it!

Annie Are You Okay?

Oakleys always make me think of Annie 'Super Sharp Shooter' Oakley. As in, ‘Annie! Get Your Gun!’ ‘Quickly! Go And Get It! Whaddya Mean You Don't Know Where It Is? Where Did Ya Leave It? Well I Know If You Knew That It Wouldn’t Be Lost But...Well… I'm Only Trying To Help Annie, Geez. It's Too Late To Get Your Gun Now Anyway, Nevermind.' She would have looked really silly in a pair. They would detract from her splendid display of décolletage hardware.

You don’t adorn your bosom with medals (as far as I’m aware) so that’s not an issue for you. I'm not adverse to an Oakley if you are a person who DOES SOMETHING. Like you're going to be doing. Or like this adorable pair:

(Image Via Ben Fogle.com - which I will now be checking on a daily basis)

Have I ever told you how much I want to be Ben Fogle's friend? James Cracknell is OK too but Ben's just great. He's so nice, and funny and...nice!  And I think they have wraparounds on in this picture and it's fiiine. Get them. You see!  They are both doo-ers, you're a doo-er...it's fiiiine!

Waist Of Time

(Image via The Sartorialist)

Well first of all, let me congratulate you on the nice use of a cedilla there Kerr. I am always unsure how to go about getting one of those, or say a grave or even an acute. Fortunately the only French I regularly use is 'Prêt' (as in A Manger) when I am discussing lunch options with E and outlook understands that and sorts the accent out for me all by itself. Nifty!


I digress. Second of all what's all this talk of waistcoats generally being rubbish? Errrrr, have you got amnesia or is there something you're trying to tell me missy? There was I - for most of the summer - in a black or white waistcoat with my billowy trousers and converse. I thought I was being all Katherine Hepburn but, perhaps...not so much. Oh!

So I obviously like a waistcoat although I do draw the line at jaunty ones (please see above).  I like this one too, it's a nice shape and it's a nice colour although without sounding too much like my Mother...it's AWFULLY thin isn't it? What is it made from? Something cheap and prone to static I imagine.

I'll address the shoe whilst I'm here. It makes me feel funny. It's the elastic! And the colour! And like, the overall design of the entire thing! No!

Here Comes the Sun

It is only six short weeks until I jet off to the Himalaya and I find myself in a quandary. I am going to need a pair of prescription sunglasses. What with all the glare of sun hitting snow and what not, I will be quite, quite blind without them. In Peru I just wore regular sunnies with my contact lenses. But I caused some concern thanks to the double vision I developed that was a suspected problem with my brain but was actually just my contact lenses playing up. I think I need to avoid that. So prescription goggles it must be.

Now here the problem lies. If I were to buy any pair of sunglasses they would inevitably be a totally impractical, take-up-a-third-of-my-face pair. But what with the fetching hat and hood that I will undoubtedly be wearing I need something a bit more... well, useful.

I know! Horrors!

But I will tell you what is worse. My thoughts have drifted in the direction of a sports sunglass. You are wincing already, aren't you? Because you know what is coming. And darling, honestly, I wish I could soften the blow. But I can't. Because I really am thinking about (whisper it!) Oakleys.

Now, I don't know if you have ever had the pleasure of hearing me go off on one about how much I hate Oakleys and how I would basically cease to converse, nay, breath the same air, as someone who owned a pair? No? Count yourself lucky! I can imagine not a few people of my acquaintance who would be rolling their eyes resignedly if they read this. But to get down to it, I hold them in equal regard to Uggs, Crocs and Next. Yup, you get the picture, and it ain't pretty.

But my argument has been weakened in a couple of ways. One was that I fell for a boy who favoured them and I didn't even bat and eyelid about the fact that he wore a pair, on a string for God's sake!

The second is that I think these two pairs are actually quite attractive.




(Images via Vision Express)

Would it be hypocrisy of the very worst kind if I bought some?

Today's GaGa

(Image via Go Fug Yourself)

Accessorising with cobwebs...?

GENIUS!!

Waist not Want Not

Hmm, the waistcoat... I like a well dressed man in one, peeking out cheekily from between the collars of a pristine suit. But on a girl...? I just don't know. When the word comes to mind I just think of really tight ones on girls with a seriously rigged bosom hoiking those puppies up to giddy heights. Ie. I just don't like it.

But there is something about the soft satiny folds of this one and the creamy colour that just brings to mind a river of melting ice cream, or cream liquer being poured over ice that I find quite charming.

And then, what's this? A bit of naughtiness from the back? A little soupçon of delicious naked back? Oh yes, I quite like it.


(Images via Urban Outfitters)

What say you?

Elbow Grise

(Image via Pied a Terre)

Darling, are these shoes quite mean and rocking or are they a bit remedial?

La Di Da

(Image via Handbag.com)

Gosh, it is pretty. I particularly like it over the leather jacket. You would look super in it. Are you sure you couldn't stretch to it?

Something else that is pretty is Posh's new do. Isn't it soft and feminine and doesn't it make her awfully approachable looking? Maybe everyone will learn to love her like we do.

Gilet...The Best Man Can Geeeeeet

(Image via Caroline Feber)

Hello.  This lady is Caroline Feber.  She has a really nice blog.  She also has a very nice furry gilet that I want from H&M but can't justify.  It's nice though innit?

All Hands to the Pumpkin

(Image via Style Frizz)

Oh my, this might be my favouritist halloween image. Isn't that delightful?!

The Cat's Pajamas

This kind of thing, you mean? Yes, there were. Although they were cute kitties more than sexy kitties. In fact the lady in the middle of that picture of me was a cat, with the most insane false eyelashes with jewels on them. She looked delightful. There is nothing I find more depressing than a "sexy" halloween outfit, though. IE. something totally random but jugs out. Know what I mean?

And I definitely put the cat amongst the pigeons, ahem, because word on the street seemed to be that my bump was a little bit too convincing and there were a lot of raised eyebrows about what I was doing out and about carousing "in my condition"! Tee, hee!


The best costume had to be two girls who came as Frida Kahlo. They looked AWESOME!

The Mutt's Nuts

This little guy would love it doll.

Incidentally, I was doing a little Facebook stalking over coffee this am. LOVE the Rosemary's Baby outfit Kerr. Inspired. Were there many sexy cats at that party? There's ALWAYS a sexy cat.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

(Image via Asos)

Is this skirt adorable or nuts?

The Long and the Short of it

Ha! You make me laugh so much! I love that you got slightly scolded by DC. Like, dude, get with the programme, that thing is barely covering the essentials! I'm sure you are perfectly decent and all, but it doesn't surprise me in the slightest if you have mistaken a top for a dress. You are girl for whom short means just that, and then some. But don't worry, you always carry it off with aplomb.

It is an easy trap to fall into. The outfit I am wearing tomorrow night to my halloween party is actively described by those in the know at River Island as a top, but I will be wearing it as a dress. Honestly, what do they know?

I think the rule has to be, as long as you can't see the join of the thighs then its fiiiine! Particularly if it is pretending to be all decent and reserved at the top.

What made me howl the loudest, though, was that you have completely brainwashed the head into buying in wholesale to the idea that a scrap of fabric makes a perfectly reasonable dress. Although, it probably isn't beyond the realms of possibility to get a boy to agree that less is best... You know?!

Oh, and as to the "T" word... No! It would never, could never, be a tunic. You are so much better than that. Slightly risqué advertiser of an acre of toned thigh? Yes! Hell yes! Wearer of tunics? How dare you! The very suggestion. Really!

Life's too short

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

Good morning. This is the conversation I had with my lovely colleague DC yesterday when I showed her my lunch time purchases.  Exhanges actually, if we are being factually correct.  I am attempting to save, so just keep swapping things at H&M.  Swapping and swapping and swapping.  It's quite good fun akshully, even mildly addictive.)

ME: '....and I got this...hair.....band…thing. Corsage...thing. I'll see how that goes....'
DC: 'Aaaaaha.'
ME: '....and THIS!'
DC: 'Nice sweater!'
ME; 'It’s a dress DC.'
DC: 'It's a top.'
ME: 'No? Really? I think it's a dress.'
DC: (Looking pointedly at the acreage of exposed thigh on show in current outfit and shaking head sadly.) 'No Hayley. It's a top.'

Then I had this conversation with The Head.

ME: 'Whaddya think of this?'
TH: 'Nice dress!'

DC is not a puritan. She has pink hair, a tongue stud and is generously tattooed so she has got me worried. Is The Head just used to my bottom being very very close to the hem of my outfits? Is it a long jumper? Is it a bloody tunic? Tunics are good for nothing and should only be worn by Byzantine Greeks. I would rather be wearing a jumper wrongly than a bloody tunic. Unsurprisingly I have ‘it’ on as a dress. I mean it covers my private zone so for me it's a done deal. It is also a lovely dove grey and knitted and high necked so demure in all other ways. If I make it to the end of the day without being arrested or accosted I'm in the right.

And whilst I'm here, the headband worked beautifully. I love it. I even went to bed in it last night like an infant. It shall henceforth be referred to as My Head Corsage. Thank you.