Tiiiiim-bbbberrrr

When I think of Timberland I think of this

Or this

Or, god help me, this

And truly the best case scenario would be this. You know, grudgingly kind of cool, but definitely not for me.

But then I deeply appreciated a pair of boots worn by my lovely friend Helen Burnett  and blow me down with a feather if they weren't Timberlands.

Definitely, definitely desirable. Who would have thunk it?

(Images via Timberland)

Face the Music

So, the VMAs. We've got over the Miley Cyrus scandaaaaal, let's look at what everyone wore...

Allison Williams

Pretty and feminine but not saccharine. Oh so good. She's extremely pretty too so that doesn't hurt.

 Ciara

She looks gorgeous but I am very over the revealing netting, modesty covering lace, be-feathered gowns favoured by J-Lo. I wish she had done something more modern. And when you have legs as good as hers it seems a shame to have then covered up (bar the inner thighs).

Coco Rocha

Oh yes, loving this. There is nothing more delightful than going down the tough girl route when others are dressed up to the nines. The leather jacket is so ornate she gets away with a more casual look.

 Ellie Goulding

I think she looks great. Very sexy but not too flashy balancing the high neck with the thigh split. But I hate the shoes. HATE. THEM. Far too chunky a strappy sandal with lots of foot showing would have been so much nicer.

 Emile Sande

Oh my days, please make some effort Emile for the love of fashion!

 Erin Wasson

I'm not really sure what is happening here. Bikini and netting? Huh? The shoes are amazing and I love the turban, and her body is sick, so she obviously looks great. But it goes against my better judgement to say so because no one should ever leave the house like this. EVER.

 Holland Roden

I don't know who this lady is and I am not totally sure that she is dressed quite right for the event, but I love this look. The dress, hair and make up are all perfection.

 Jennifer Hudson

Achieving the impossible, making Dior look Di-bore. How can leather just look so dull?

Joan Smalls

My look of the night. A white, peplum bedecked sweatshirt dress? Shouldn't work but it really does and those shoes are amazing, in the only arena where they would be suitable too. Definitely couldn't wear those to the shops without looking a bit barking. Gosh she looks goooooood!

Katy Perry

I'm not sure that this is the best picture of Katy in this dress, but in other pictures her body looks absolutely incredible. Very over the top and not for everyone but I think she looks pretty great. I am not too sure about that severe horse tail (definitely more than a pony, no?) and the grill was a definite no.

 Lady Gaga

Yes, it is PVC but for Gaga this is definitely underplayed. After all it wasn't so long ago that she was arriving to awards ceremonies like she had just popped out of a very large chicken. Love the hair and natural make up. Very pretty, miss thing, I like it.

 Lil Kim

Mad as a satchel, our Kimmie. Not one to be left behind by the likes of Nicki Minaj, she's putting it all out there and I kind of love it. I know, I'm sorry.

 Miley Cyrus

For all her tongue action and posturing I actually think this outfit is as dull as ditchwater.

 Rita Ora

Wow, I hate this. I just don't understand what would possess you to drag round the sweepings of a chicken hutch attached to your dress. This is so awful there are barely words. Plus her pale lipstick makes her look decidedly Z-list.

 Selena Gomez

I love the colour and length and I love how grown up this looks but I think the revealed bustier section is just kind of creepy.

 Taylor Swift

I love the navy. It makes me only want to wear navy for the rest of my life. It is super classy. But I think the look is too old fashioned for her, and with the boyish frame she looks as though she is dressing in her mother's clothes. A dress like this needs curves.

 Willow and Jaden Smith

I like that they have done for a casual look and I am enjoying the clothes, particularly those dungarees. But they just seem to be so convinced of how cool they are that it ruins everything for me. There is nothing wrong with a bit of teenage self doubt and insecurity. It is a normal part of growing up, no?

 Alicia Quarles

Alicia is so incredibly beautiful I think she would probably look amazing in any outfit. But this, which reminds me of Gwyneth's black Pucci number is super pretty, modern and eye-catching.

Ashanti

Oh, Ashanti, you do know that you are able to wear dresses that were designed more recently than you had a song in the hit parade, right? This dress is just so terribly tired.

Grimes

Now, I don't think that this outfit is particularly interesting or flattering but by far the worst thing about it was that someone else wore the same trousers, and that person was a DUDE. Wow, that's got to hurt.

2 Chainz

The wearer of said trousers. I could almost appreciate this outfit if his t shirt wasn't white and so very oversized. It wouldn't make me love it but it wouldn't concern me that you were weirdly out of proportion.

Justin Timberlake

I'm not totally sure about the Charlie Chaplin tribute, but I do like those silver toe-capped dancing shoes. Fancy!

Robin Thicke

I loathe Robin's regular sleazy lounge suit look, so (I know you will think I am crazy) I actually quite like that he is dressing like Beetlejuice. And I'm just going to try and wipe from my memory the vision of what Miley was doing up the front of that suit.

(Images via Daily Telegraph, Huffington Post)

True to (Plat)form

(Image via The Daily Telegraph)

Kate Hudson looks insanely amazing in this Balmain mini, but someone please take her shoes out back and put them out of their misery.

Jeez Louise, how long is it going to take for platform pumps to die?

Gram for Grammy

Adele

Oh lord, I love this. So glad that she is out of widows weeds and into some kind of crazy colourful spin on a 50s housewife. Heaven!

 

Alexa Chung

So prim and proper with a dash of pre-summer loveliness. And sooooo un-Grammys.

Beyonce

I do love her, but I don't always love her wardrobe choices. I like where she is going with this, the structured monochrome top of the jumpsuit is amazing, I just wished the bottom half looked less like leggings.

Florence Welch

Is it just me or does she look like a particularly un-soothing lozenge?

Jennifer Lopez

Oh dear.

Karlie Kloss

Minimal but colourful perfection. Love.

Katy Petty

Love the colour, love the shape, love the embellishment, not so wild about cleavage-orama.

 

Kelly Osbourne

Loving the neckline and the cutouts. I think she looks great.

Kelly Rowland

It is amazing that when there has been a call for less flesh at the Grammys flouting that just makes you look a bit desparate. You're a beautiful woman, I don't think you have to try this hard.

Rhianna

OK, so who was the person that we all thought would laugh in the face of the no flesh Grammys rule? Ri-Ri, right? How wrong were we. Super elegant. I love this dress, one of my favourites and I don't think she has ever looked better.

Solange Knowles

Oh, how I love you Solange and your inability to put a fashion foot wrong in my mind. Emerald green sequins, miraculously classy thigh high slit, coral courts and enormous fro. Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Talyor Swift

The dress is pretty if a bit scary with the strapping, but the hair reminds me of the scary German lady in 'Allo, 'Allo. Hmmm, not so much.

 

(Images via Elle UK, Telegraph)

(Baf)Ta Very Much

First off, let me apologise for being terribly remiss in my blogging. I have been in a little bit of a two and eight the last couple of weeks. But hopefully things will settle down soon and I'll be able to get back to you lovely people and the delights of fashion.

 

Now onto more pressing matters... awards ceremonies. Wicked!

 

First - THE BAFTAS!

 

Now, I like to stay positive so I would prefer to only talk about the good dresses but there were so many bad ones that I fear I can't leave them out. I promise to try and make it quick, like pulling off a plaster.

 

Alice Eve

Wrong on every level.

Hair - hideous unflattering pompadour.

Dress - flames and illusion netting. Gross.

Shoes - flesh toned stripper heels.

I'm sorry to be so mean but there are no redeeming features to distract me.

 

Alicia Vikander

 

From the front nothing to write home about.

 

But from the back, minimalist elegant heaven.

Amy Adams

Lord knows I think you are adorable but tits, black lace and, ahem, a crotch high slit do not make for a classy look.

 

Anne Hathaway

Love this Burberry. Understated, pretty and edgy. And I fall more in love with that hair on her every time I see it.

Elizabeth Olsen

I adore this Chanel dress. The pattern, the straps, the peplum. Love.

Gemma Arterton

The flesh coloured panels are a bit too flesh like. It makes me feel like a pervert just looking at her. And what might look ok at the top just looks weird as it bags from the knees.

Hayley Atwell

It's an Antonio Berardi dress so that already makes it a winner.

Helen Mirren

Ms Mirren seemed to be having a whale of a time swishing this dress around and I can't argue with that. Also appreciating the punk gesture of her pink hair. Nicely played.

Jennifer Garner

I have heard complaints over this Roland Mouret not fitting properly but I love how different this dress is. I think she looks great.

Jennifer Lawrence

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Jessica Chastain

Love this. She finally has an award ceremony dress that I don't hate. Yay! And not only that I think it was one of the evening's best looks.

Laura Bailey

I love that Laura Bailey is the anti sexy. Not skimpy, not skin tight and all fabulous.

Marion Cotillard

I am confused about these sheer panels in Raf Simons' Dior dresses. Apparently they are meant to be there but I don't think they add to the look. Which is a shame because otherwise this is so amazing in colour and shape that I could faint clear away. Plus in a mountain of black to match the rain clouds Marion's sunshine yellow was the perfect pick-me-up.

Olga Kurylenko

Stunning. She looks just impeccable.

Paloma Faith

As ever mad as a satchel with her pretzel hair but I love this.

Samatha Barks

I know you are new to this, so I'll try not to be mean. I'll try to be constructive. So might I ask you to just, you know, put on some more clothes? And maybe, erm, dry your hair. That would be a 100% improvement.

Sarah Jessica Parker

Slightly weird jumpsuit thingy, but she looks great.

Thandie Newton

Why does black lace often look sooooo cheap?

(Images via Elle UK, Daily Telegraph)

Zawe Ashton

I can't believe I'm saying this because I love her as Vod, but this just isn't cute.