It was the Best of Times, it was the Worst of Times

 

I am loving the Daily Telegraph's Worst dressed 2011: the 25 worst outfits of the year 

 

Here are some of my favourites:

 

Ellie Goulding (above). So I kind of get the festival fashion references, but under no circumstances should zip up Olivia Newton John style shorts, scaggy grey corset tops and weird leopard print booties be combined. Ever.

 

Evan Rachel Wood and her beetroot/gizzards coloured leather pussy bow trench dress and Gucci style (or possibly just Gucci) 70s hat is truly wrong on every level.

Jaime Winstone. I just don't understand her fashion choices. Not at all.

Just like with Gaga, when Jessie J was new, I was intrigued. Now I'm just bored/slightly troubled.

Lauren Pope. I know I shouldn't say this, because obviously this is just about as trashy and attention grabbing as they come. But actually, in terms of achieving what you set out to do, I think this is kind of majestic.

Pixie Geldof will never be forgiven for wearing Buffalo boots. And the rest of the outfit is just inexplicable.

I love Sarah Jessica's outfit, but the tights? No. We all know they are wrong.

Nicole Kidman proves that just because something (in this case leather) is fashionable, doesn't mean that you should have a frumpy badly fitting suit made out of it and wear it on the blue carpet.

This was the precise moment that I fell out of love with Cheryl Cole, and she hasn't done anything since to absolve herself.

And then there was Tulisa. I had high hopes. She started out well, she came across as really fun. But her fashion choices really, really sucked.

(Images via Daily Telegraph Fashion)

But all I can say is thank goodness for these fashion mistakes, because life would be very dull without them. So ladies, please, as you were...



Oh, Bee-hiiive!

Oh Cheryl, what has life come to?

Having to backcomb your hair to ridiculous proportions just to get some publicity.

(Images via Holy Moly and Daily Mail)

I didn't think I would ever say this, but please make another record so that you don't have to go to such extreme measures for people to notice you.

Barnet Fair

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Head for the hills! There's an invasion of hugely bouffanted women!


(Via Grazia)

The end is niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coles to Newcastle

(Via Go Fug Yourself)

Dearest Cheryl. It's been a bad year for you. You are no longer the princess of our hearts, people have started to prefer Dannii, you nearly died of malaria. This year sucked, I grant you.

But I'm pretty sure a satin strapless drawstring waist jumpsuit isn't going to make it any better.

Sheer and Present Danger

I can't confess to having particularly strong feelings about Kandy Rain, I don't watch X Factor so didn't even see them perform. But I have to say I have a soft spot for a group of strippers wanting to become famous singers. It's like Pretty Woman 2.0.


(Image via News of the World)

But I do feel for them re. the whole slutty dressing furore.

Coz, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the top that the girl second from the right is wearing remind you of something?



Yeah! I kinda thought so too...

Maybe I'm just bitter because I thought, naively possibly, that even though I will hate the song, I bet she will rock out some super hot high fashion looks in her video. Instead I got this...



And this...



Not cute, right?

She kind of made up for it with this one, though, I'll give her that.

Cole Face

(Image via Catalyst)

Oh I hear ya sista. I have been avoiding all photos or any discussion about Princess Cheryl. I didn't want to admit that it was actually happening. Why the bouffing? And the pouffing? WHY? It's all a bit principal boy isn't it? Slapping of thighs etc.

I don't want to talk about the 'Racy Tinkerbell' birthday outfit. Because that way it way it won't have happened. You see?

My Cheryl Amour

I know that you are going to want to lynch me, and that this is probably going to sound the death knell on our relationsip, but dude, what is going on with Princess Cheryl's wardrobe?

She had the heart of the nation in the palm of her hand. And she was pulling it out of the bag fashion-wise too. She was on the cover of Vogue for lummy's sake. So what has gone wrong?

(Images via Glamour)

After all the hoo-ha about how she wants to beat Dannii in the fashion stakes what the blazes is she up to? Particularly the birthday suit? Which that dress basically is, let's face it.

A big disappointment, pick up your game missy!

Hands free!

Oddly, I was reading an article in Vogue about this very matter (whilst listening to late 90's trance, a fabulous birthday present from The Head - it was disconcerting to combine the too, but pleasurable non the less).

Harriet Quick was questioning the very validity of a shoulder strap. Apparently those 'in the know' have taken to clutching, grabbing or scrunching' their bags in their paws as opposed to tossing the strap over their shoulder. Now I fear change and I like to have my hands free at all times Just In Case (of what I am not sure) so I shall stick to a strap but Harriet has identified it as A Trend and here you are wanting to go all strapless on me and I do really like that bag. It is delicious. They do a similar one in black that I also rilly like. (I can generally go for a Reiss accessory but not their clothes, odd).

I do have one nagging concern about going sans strap though darling, and that it the waggyness of it all. One of my pet hates is seeing gals swanning around with their overstuffed handbags swinging merrily about as they hold their arm at what must SURELY be an uncomfortably acute angle? Even Princess Cheryl is doing it. And you must plan for those moments when you you need three hands (coffee, handbag, oyster card) but you are a bright you thing and you shall fathom. And you are also ferociously un-waggy and it is a refined looking thing so I say buy it! And I shall hold your coffee for you at those moments when it all gets too troublesome. I mean I'll no doubt roll my eyes whilst doing it, but I'll do it.