First off, let me apologise for being terribly remiss in my blogging. I have been in a little bit of a two and eight the last couple of weeks. But hopefully things will settle down soon and I'll be able to get back to you lovely people and the delights of fashion.
Now onto more pressing matters... awards ceremonies. Wicked!
First - THE BAFTAS!
Now, I like to stay positive so I would prefer to only talk about the good dresses but there were so many bad ones that I fear I can't leave them out. I promise to try and make it quick, like pulling off a plaster.
Alice Eve
Wrong on every level.
Hair - hideous unflattering pompadour.
Dress - flames and illusion netting. Gross.
Shoes - flesh toned stripper heels.
I'm sorry to be so mean but there are no redeeming features to distract me.
Alicia Vikander
From the front nothing to write home about.
But from the back, minimalist elegant heaven.
Amy Adams
Lord knows I think you are adorable but tits, black lace and, ahem, a crotch high slit do not make for a classy look.
Anne Hathaway
Love this Burberry. Understated, pretty and edgy. And I fall more in love with that hair on her every time I see it.
Elizabeth Olsen
I adore this Chanel dress. The pattern, the straps, the peplum. Love.
Gemma Arterton
The flesh coloured panels are a bit too flesh like. It makes me feel like a pervert just looking at her. And what might look ok at the top just looks weird as it bags from the knees.
Hayley Atwell
It's an Antonio Berardi dress so that already makes it a winner.
Helen Mirren
Ms Mirren seemed to be having a whale of a time swishing this dress around and I can't argue with that. Also appreciating the punk gesture of her pink hair. Nicely played.
Jennifer Garner
I have heard complaints over this Roland Mouret not fitting properly but I love how different this dress is. I think she looks great.
Jennifer Lawrence
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Jessica Chastain
Love this. She finally has an award ceremony dress that I don't hate. Yay! And not only that I think it was one of the evening's best looks.
Laura Bailey
I love that Laura Bailey is the anti sexy. Not skimpy, not skin tight and all fabulous.
Marion Cotillard
I am confused about these sheer panels in Raf Simons' Dior dresses. Apparently they are meant to be there but I don't think they add to the look. Which is a shame because otherwise this is so amazing in colour and shape that I could faint clear away. Plus in a mountain of black to match the rain clouds Marion's sunshine yellow was the perfect pick-me-up.
Olga Kurylenko
Stunning. She looks just impeccable.
Paloma Faith
As ever mad as a satchel with her pretzel hair but I love this.
Samatha Barks
I know you are new to this, so I'll try not to be mean. I'll try to be constructive. So might I ask you to just, you know, put on some more clothes? And maybe, erm, dry your hair. That would be a 100% improvement.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Slightly weird jumpsuit thingy, but she looks great.
Thandie Newton
Why does black lace often look sooooo cheap?
(Images via Elle UK, Daily Telegraph)
Zawe Ashton
I can't believe I'm saying this because I love her as Vod, but this just isn't cute.