Wednesday, 26 May 2010

There's More Than One Way to Skin a Cat, You Know

Are my headlines getting a bit convoluted? It's just that this leather trend has been hanging round like a bad smell for longer than I thought it would and I am so utterly bored of using and seeing hell for leather in magazines, or skin deep. Yawn!
Plus that is a lyric in a Nancy Sinatra song that I love, and it is accompanied by a lot of suggestive miaowing, which always makes me smile, so there we go.

Now, where was I?

Hmm, yes, leather...

I have several points to make:

1. Is this really a trend suitable for spring/summer? What are the repercussions of sweat and animal skin? Will the nation start whiffing of a tannery? Plus isn't the colour going to run? It is irritating when your feet are dyed by a cheap pair of shoes, but your whole body?

2. Does anyone actually want their lower half to look as though it has been lovingly fashioned from a block of wood by a man with too much time on his hands and an excess of fine grade sandpaper?

3. Is a leather t shirt really what the world needs? Particularly a shapeless, awkward looking black leather t shirt? That is going to make anyone with more than the most rudimentary frontage look like an unpleasantly butch and aggressive prison warden whose breasts are her weapons and if you give her any lip will have you in a headlock so fast you won't be able to catch your breath or think about all the things you wished you'd done in this short but wonderful life before she smothers you with the damned things.

4. But then I don't have it in my heart to hate the treand either, because it can be awesome. I was at a conference for work a couple of weeks back and amid all the boring suits and generally hideus outfits that most lady bankers see fit to punish themselves with, was a lady in a leather dress. At a banking conference! I know! And I could have swooned she looked so amazing. I cornered her in the bathroom and told her how much I loved it. She appeared grateful, but slightly curious as to why I (a lowly PA and conference hostess) should be telling her like that. And I wanted to shout, "But I know! I know about this stuff. I'm telling you!" but I didn't.

5. This skirt exists in the world:

And it is made of leather. And it is pretty and lovely. And it is demure but a little naughty at the same time. And it makes me think that I could pretend to be Gaga, but in real life, with no actual threat of taking someone's eye out.

6. And finally if it is done right, it can be terribly pretty and feminine, see?

(Images via

So what is the answer? Is it good? Is it bad? Is it sweaty? The only thing I do know is that if it is lovely it is probably very expensive and so not for me. So maybe I should spend less time worrying about it and do something more constructive with my time. Now, where was that sandpaper?

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